Wisconsin fired Paul Chryst yesterday, reportedly telling him, “You can’t embarrass us in front of Bret. Lovie Smith was one thing, but Bret is personal.” It’s a sad and scary and hopeful day for the football program. It’s also a good time to remember Paul Chryst’s crowning achievement:
At the time Chryst did that to the Turnover Chain, the Turnover Chain was still cool. It hadn’t jumped the shark yet. It hadn’t gotten mimicked into oblivion. It was cool, and it was new, and Chryst gave it a hero’s sendoff, killing it before it could outlive its welcome. By doing what he did, Paul Chryst probably saved us five years of a College Gameday McDonald’s-sponsored Turnover Chain. God bless him for that.
More Like the Blues-ers (‘Cause That’s What They’re Singing)
The Brewers are dead, or nearly dead, and this is a large relief for those of us who’ve developed a one-sided blood feud with Craig Counsell (not to name any names, but I’m talking about myself). Still, we care about our Brewers-fan friends, and they are usually also our Badgers-fan friends, and as Packer fans ourselves (this is where it gets messy, and this is why we have these friends), thank God that Mason Crosby made that kick. That game was horrifying. Golly.
The Mets Are Tricking Us
You’d think, watching the Mets completely blow the NL East this weekend, that they were doing the expected: Falling over dead at the last second after looking like World Series favorites for much of the year. Well, sorry guys, it’s not the last second. Which means those tricksters are up to something. What’s that something? Clearly, it’s lulling us into a false sense of security. If I’m the Los Angeles Dodgers, I’m wetting my Los Angeles Dodgers-branded pants. And if I’m the Padres I’m not even showing up on Friday.
The Jason Heyward Goodbye Was Nice
The Cubs have great vibes right now, all the way down to their sendoffs of dead contracts. Of course, they’re finishing a losing season and there isn’t actually that much reason to believe in the 2023 roster yet, not knowing what half its important parts will be, but it was a good weekend at Wrigley. Nice to have that be the last memory of the regular season (we will not remember this series in Cincinnati).
Texas Is a Touchdown Favorite in Dallas
The Longhorns are favored to beat Oklahoma by seven, and something feels very wrong about this. I’m concerned for all involved, but mostly Quinn Ewers, who currently looks like a graceful elk prancing much too near some train tracks. Stay away from the Mets, Quinn.
Davis Webb vs. Davis Mills
I can’t keep these guys straight, so if Webb starts for the Giants on Sunday I’m going to be really confused when he then shows up wherever Houston’s playing later in the day.
Is It Ok to Be Bummed by Talladega?
Look. The plot of the Ricky Bobby biopic isn’t that he runs a clean race at Talladega and everyone goes home happy. There are some fireworks, and there is a provocative Frenchman. Yesterday’s race had neither of those.
We’re all obviously thrilled nobody died or got seriously injured, but the point shouldn’t be to stop crashes. It should be to make sure everyone survives them when they happen, both in the short-term and the long-term. So, sorry NASCAR, but yesterday’s a failure in my book. I want cars in the air. I just want that to magically be a safe thing to have happen.
In other news, Max Verstappen clearly stinks since he couldn’t win, and I can’t wait to hear how he blames Red Bull for letting Sergio Pérez beat him.
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Viewing schedule:
6:40 PM EDT: Cubs @ Reds (MLB TV)
The thing about Hayden Wesneski facing Hunter Greene is that one of those two is the next great Major League pitcher. It can only be one, though. So this one counts.
8:10 PM EDT: Twins @ White Sox (MLB TV, second screen)
We could see Joe Kelly’s final outing of the season at any moment. Keep watch. Our winter’s sleep awaits.
