Sorry, everybody, but this is exclusively a Senators and Burnley set of notes today, and there’s nothing you can do about it. We’ll talk about other things tomorrow, but today is just Burnley and the Senators, and I cannot be stopped. We’ve already got your click. Might as well just read the post now.
Learning to Hate
There’s a thing about adopting sports teams semi-ironically, and that’s the “semi” part. What happens, in my experience, is you grow to love them. It makes sense, too. You chose this team, you chose it for a reason, it’s similar to using a matchmaking service when looking for a relationship. Of course you’ll like them—that’s how the system’s supposed to work. This is how I, looking for the most irrelevant team (in both the English Premier League and the NHL) because it fit my identity as an NIT fan, came to love both Burnley and the Ottawa Senators.
It’s hard to tell when exactly the fanhood makes the leap to true fanhood. Is it when you’re legitimately angry over a loss and need to cool down before you can be patient with your loved ones again? Is it when you alter your sleep or work schedule to watch a game? I’d venture it’s something different. I’d venture it’s when you organically come to hate a player on an opposing team, and to hate that entire team by extension.
This happened months ago for me in the Burnley sphere. I don’t fully remember why, but Patrick Bamford can eat farts, and Leeds can too. Last night, it finally happened with the Sens.
The Ottawa Senators are a bad hockey team with good players. Such is life when you’re in a rebuild. One of the best of those players—perhaps the best, period, when this is all said and done—is Tim Stützle, a young German boy with startling agility and a disarming smile. Jimmy Stu, as he is called within the Sens organization, is deserving of all the love in the world. He’s also loathed by a certain segment of NHL fans, who view him as a pretty boy.
I guess I could see the pretty boy thing, and probably would see it if I were a fan of some pointless organization like the Toronto Maple Leafs. But given how harmless the Sens are in their whole, are you really going to hate Tim Stützle? Don’t you have better uses of your hate?
A common criticism of Jimmy Stu is that he’s a “diver,” meaning he goes down to draw penalties. Again, possibly true. Possibly gamesmanship. Possibly he’s just a small young lad playing against grown men and those grown men knock him over now and then. What’s he to do? He’s but a wee child out there!
Last night, this criticism grew legs. Brendan Gallagher, best known for being an overpaid weasel (not my word, someone else’s, I honestly didn’t know he existed before last night which is one of the great things about only kind of following the NHL), got upset at our lovely Tim, and let the world know after the game, saying Stützle had been faking injuries. The problem, logically, is that if Stützle were faking injuries to draw penalties…the penalties would have to be called later? Really, though, it’s more a problem of Gallagher criticizing diving when he’s evidently known to dive (again, this is all the first I’m hearing of this fellow), and Gallagher going after a guy who’s just trying to win games playing good, clean hockey. To which we say: Brendan Gallagher, we hate you now. And we hate the Montréal Canadiens by extension. Never really cared before. Now? The Habs can get wrecked.
The Sens, as you may have guessed, beat the Canadiens 6-3. Travis Hamonic came to Stützle’s defense after the knee-to-knee hit. (Ever been hit knee-to-knee, Brendan Gallagher? Doesn’t feel good, but wears off fast if you don’t twist something!) Hamonic’s been a good vibe pickup after all. Possibly a good hockey pickup too, but as you can tell, I am not one to know such things. Credit to Pierre Dorion, who might be a vibe king but also might be a bozo. Love him either way, but for very different reasons.
Burnley’s Life or Sadder-Life Game Against Everton
In a few minutes, Burnley and Everton will kick off. It’s a pretty simple situation: Burnley winning would pull them within one point of being out of the relegation zone. Burnley losing would leave them seven points shy of that relative safety. A tie would leave Burnley four points back, still, but it’d be a missed opportunity.
Burnley does host the game, which should help. Game’s on Peacock Premium at 2:30 PM EDT. Ben Mee is still out, and Erik Pieters is too. Hopefully Nathan Collins can hold the line in Mee’s stead. The darkness is upon us, and it’s up to Sean Dyche to work his magic once again. Burn, baby. Burnley.
