A defensive lineman named C. Jones is not happy with his team, and it’s not Chris! Well, still Chris, actually, but no news on Chris. Chris wants a raise. We all know Chris wants a raise. See? No news.
Chandler Jones, edge rusher for the Raiders, is unhappy with Josh McDaniels, posting on Instagram that he doesn’t want to play for the Raiders anymore and saying the team wouldn’t let him work out at the team facility. It isn’t Jones’s first noteworthy social media activity these last two weeks, he tweeted a picture last Wednesday that made him look like a storm trooper in the padded helmet, but this was more exciting than that, and it makes one ask how Josh McDaniels let one of his highest-paid players get this unhappy. In a really weird world, maybe McDaniels is trying to provoke Jones to do something which would nullify his contract (Jones seems to think this, posting, “THEY WON’T LET ME IN THE BUILDING THO, TRYNY PROVOKE A *****”). In a more normal one, maybe Josh McDaniels isn’t great with people?
The Las Vegas Raiders head coach, a man with a career 17–28 record over his time in Denver and Las Vegas, the longtime New England Patriots offensive coordinator, has yet to do anything positive in a non-assistant role and also might be responsible for ruining Jay Cutler, which makes this a whole lot different than if it was happening on the Cowboys, where I’d imagine Mike McCarthy would respond to the incident by bumping into a patio set at HomeGoods and then hurriedly trying to find a staffer to confirm that “tryny” means “tryna” which he thinks he remembers means “trying to.” If enough people get really mad while working with one person, maybe the one person is the problem. This might be on Josh McDaniels.
This World Cup Isn’t Rigged
No matter how valid or invalid recent criticisms are that the FIFA World Cup is rigged, it is doubtful that the FIBA World Cup is rigged. I don’t think anyone cares enough about the FIBA World Cup to rig it, and if someone tried (to make money betting, I’d assume), no one would figure it out faster than teens on NBA Reddit. So, whether Luka Dončić was right or wrong this morning in his criticisms towards officials, using the money gesture towards whatever the “VIP tribune” is was probably not something which hit close to home. Unless he was rubbing in that no one cares about their tournament? That would be a good reason to make the money gesture. This is so lame that no one even wants to rig it.
In other news from those minutes of the game, Dillons Brooks was ejected, and I’m bummed to learn that Brooks was ejected before Dončić because I really hoped that Brooks saw Dončić got ejected, said, “Wait a minute, that’s *my* thing,” and punched a ref in the nuts. Alas.
The Spanish Legal System, as it Pertains to the RFEF
Good news! Spanish soccer player Jenni Hermoso, most famous for being kissed (this all sucks so bad), formally accused Luis Rubiales of sexual assault. My impression is that this makes it possible for the government to do more about Rubiales than they previously could? I’m not positive. I’m getting the idea that the people reporting on this and thereby giving me my information are also not experts in Spanish law.
The Mexico City Marathon, and How to Cheat
Out of the thirty thousand people who ran August’s Mexico City Marathon, more than ten thousand have been disqualified, and more mass disqualification might be on its way. I was assuming that this was an indictment of the Mexico City course—that there was a spot where it became confusing and people accidentally cut it—but the reports are implying that everyone intentionally cheated, which is way funnier. Cars, buses, I don’t know if Mexico City has trains but there’s an implication there were trains. This is Geoffrey Butler-style marathon cheating. Love it. I kind of want to enter the Mexico City Marathon now for next year, just to cheat. What a rush it would be to join thousands of fellow marathon cheaters in looking for the silliest way to not follow the prescribed course.
Our Brewers Nightmare Might Be Over
And that’s good, because the Reds keep refusing to die.
Ken Rosenthal and Will Sammon reported today that Brewers president David Stearns* has been talking to the Mets and Astros since it became allowable for him to do so under his contract with Milwaukee, something which happened with this year’s trade deadline on August 1st. It’s long been expected that Stearns will go to the Mets, as he grew up a Mets fan in New York City, but we’re getting close to it finally happening, after ten long years of Stearns making the Brewers good when natural order dictates they should be bad. Bad Brewers? Fun. Lovable. Good uniforms. Lots of beer. Big slide. Good Brewers? Highly annoying. Maybe if Stearns leaves they’ll stop pumping out otherworldly starters and closers.
*I next want Ken Rosenthal and Will Sammon to report that David Stern has been talking to the Mets and Astros.
Joe Kelly: Starter?
Here’s a fun idea, with the Dodgers in the market for a starting pitcher after one of theirs allegedly did something heinous: Joe Kelly!
We love Joe Kelly as a middle reliever, but it will always be exhilarating to see his name as a starter, and what better way for these next two months to play out than for Joe Kelly to become the Dodgers’ ace while Clayton Kershaw’s shoulder returns to the dust from whence it came? Still no word on yesterday’s simulated game. Maybe they were stretching him out. Maybe they’re stretching him out so much that the simulated game is still happening! Wow. That would be something.
Christopher Morel dot GIF
