Well, shit (more on that later, by the way).
Joe Kelly’s hurt again.
It was a dominant outing. Joe Kelly had entered the 3-1 game in the eighth and retired Trevor Story and Franchy Cordero on a combined seven pitches (both outs were strikeouts, obviously). He was hitting 98. His curve was curving. His fastball was tailing like mad, but also was not tailing as much as the ump thought it was, and the combination there resulted in a very upset Trevor Story and a color commentator pivoting to the you-need-to-swing-at-balls-when-there-are-two-strikes position, which is a good throwback to Little League where the umps are supposed to be bad at their jobs. (Was it Steve Stone on the White Sox broadcast last night? I’m not used to the voices yet.)
On that seventh pitch, though, something very bad happened.
Well, first something very good. Joe Kelly did a weird pause at the top of his leg kick, bounced a couple times, then showed Cordero the limits of humanity and a baseball bat against a relief pitcher as good as good can get.
Then the bad thing happened.
Joe Kelly grabbed his hamstring.
There hasn’t been an update yet, but Daryl Van Schouwen has reported that Tanner Banks is on his way to Chicago, which points to someone from the bullpen going on the IL, presumably our guy. Hopefully it’s a short absence.
In the meantime, we’re vilifying Joe Torre for this. I don’t know that Torre’s still in that role where he was in charge of making up dumb rules or if Trea Turner forced him out of it during their 2019 World Series incident, but he’s definitely still got enough sway in the MLB power structure to take out the hammy of a guy who just dominated his old team psychologically. This was Torre’s doing, and we won’t forget it should Joe Torre, I don’t know, make the Hall of Fame or something. Thinking mass protest with photoshopped images of Torre looking demonic and holding a crowbar while Joe Kelly lightly grimaces.
Please Don’t Fight Joey Votto
The Cubs lost last night, and they almost won, and one of the things that might have led to them almost winning was that Rowan Wick and Joey Votto got into it.
The situation was this: Rowan Wick walked Joey Votto (nearly doming him in the process), Joey Votto flipped his bat, Rowan Wick chirped at him, Votto unloaded on Wick, benches didn’t clear but Patrick Wisdom did get drilled by Hunter Strickland the next inning (which led to one run but not the necessary two), and after the game Wick said Votto overreacted? Votto was the innocent party here, man.
David Ross got tossed arguing that the umps should have discussed whether Strickland hitting Wisdom was intentional, which—I don’t know, that would be pretty extreme in that setting (both because of the stakes in the game and because it would seem like escalation more than retaliation), but maybe? Either way, hoping nothing blows up today, because Wick started the Cubs off on the wrong side of it all.
Milk!
With the Indy 500 this weekend, milk news is flowing, and today’s best article comes from USA Today, which has a feature on the Veteran Milk Man for this year’s race, and the position of Veteran Milk Person in general. If you’re looking for something feel-good right now, this is feel-good. Although maybe the Indy 500 and milk are more a feel-good thing for me than for you. In which case: What do you like? And how is it cooler than the Indy 500 and/or milk?
Kimi Raikkonen!
Kimi Raikkonen, the dude who once walked off the track and onto a yacht during an F1 race, is going to run the NASCAR Cup Series race this summer at Watkins Glen. Fun thing, don’t want to expect too much from a guy running in the Cup Series for the first time, also don’t want to put too much pressure on an F1 driver stepping up to race with the big boys, but good for him, good for Trackhouse (who’s putting him in its third car, the 91, which it’s reserving for one-off celeb shots like this one), good for everyone involved. Fun. With a period (I’m done with exclamation points for the moment, this next header still has me bummed).
Fargo Ate Shit Dramatically Today
Unfortunately, this is not “ate shit” as in she fell. I wish she fell. Instead, she just ate poop. Right after it came out of another dog’s butt.
I was sitting down to work after a long morning walk, and she was restless, and when she’s restless she barks and swipes at me and that’s also what she does when she has to poop. So, I took her downstairs, where we had a good sniff, no pooping, and then, an unexpected visit from two off-leash dogs who also live in the building.
She was psyched.
I fell into the trap.
Feeling a little guilty about not letting her get her zoom on at the park we passed during the walk, I let her off leash. Immediately, she went for the poop.
Wasn’t even out of the butt yet.
It’s awkward yelling at your dog to not eat another dog’s actively-being-pooped poop, because you don’t want the innocent, pooping dog to think they’re doing anything wrong. Also, it was too late anyway, so while I did yell, it did nothing except confuse the other dog, who was probably also confused about why Fargo’s head was under its butthole as it dropped its turd into the corner by the fence. Fargo grabbed the turd, Fargo took off, Fargo was unceremoniously captured and dragged inside. She’s in her crate now and I am down the street at a coffee shop hammering these notes out. She usually gets diarrhea when she eats poop (which is every time she goes to daycare, evidently), but she’s pretty good at holding it, and—look, I might be coming home to a huge mess, guys. I’m bummed. How do you stop a one-year-old dog from eating poop? Especially when there is poop everywhere in your neighborhood.
Burnley Got Its Man
Alright, back to happy stuff. Burnley…
Oh wait, sorry. Not yet.
There was a wave of reports yesterday that Burnley was definitely hiring Vincent Kompany, the longtime center back for Manchester City, Burnley’s historic little brother and neighbor (Manchester is an exurb of Burnley). Turns out, Kompany has another option, so while he did leave Anderlecht, the best club in Belgium but not one that holds a candle to the best club in Lancashire, that doesn’t mean Burnley is necessarily the destination.
***
Viewing schedule, today/tonight:
12:35 PM EDT: Cubs @ Reds (MLB TV)
Justin Steele has the potential to be a long-term blast, but I’m also scared of getting too attached to him because Joe says he might not turn out to be that good. But Joe also then says that he might be great, and just out of the bullpen? Now I’m scared of the Cubs misusing Justin Steele. Every thought I have about the Cubs today involves fear.
7:00 PM EDT: Rangers @ Hurricanes (ESPN)
It is weird how quickly you start liking and disliking teams once you’re watching hockey. As previously stated, I’m firmly in the “dislike” camp with the Canes. Seem kind of gimmicky. I’m neutral on the Rangers but the fearful baseball fan in me does see the good-for-the-game angle. Also it would be fun to tell people that no one cares about the Yankees anymore because New York’s a Rangers town.
9:30 PM EDT: Red Sox @ White Sox (MLB TV, second screen)
Please let our guy be healthy, fates.
9:30 PM EDT: Oilers @ Flames (ESPN)
Will Brady Tkachuk will his brother to victory? Pretty much the only storyline entering tonight.
9:38 PM EDT: Blue Jays @ Angels (MLB TV, second screen)
Hyun Jin Ryu vs. Shohei Ohtani in Anaheim is the perfect late-night baseball game on a Thursday. Might have two Coors Lights tonight after volleyball instead of just the one.
