Jim Harbaugh has reportedly suspended himself for three games, taking responsibility for buying a recruit a cheeseburger (and, you know, breaking the well-publicized rule about recruiting dead time) by banishing his soul, mind, and body for Michigan’s games against marquee September opponents East Carolina, UNLV, and Bowling Green State University. Will the NCAA accept this? Stay tuned. They rejected a four-game suspension proposed by their own committee, but NCAA discipline is not exactly consistent in its nature. They just might go for the three-game idea.
One great thing about this? Michigan’s wimpy scheduling is paying off. For at least a few years, the Wolverines have navigated their September situation by trying to find the three worst FBS teams out there who hail from distinct conferences. Maybe they were setting themselves up to weather a suspension the whole time.
Saint Joe’s Is Redesigning the Hawk
The Saint Joseph’s University Hawk, known for its ceaseless flapping during basketball games and presumably final exams, will be refreshed, Saint Joseph’s University announced today. The university headed off criticism by clarifying that 1) the Hawk has been updated multiple times in the past and 2) The Hawk Will Never Die. It’s unclear if the Hawk is going to be redesigned in time for this season, if the Hawk has already been redesigned, or if the university doesn’t have a timeline yet but announced it anyway (we have done similar things, I am not here to judge). The indication, though, is that Saint Joe’s is redesigning the Hawk. Because Saint Joe’s said they’re redesigning the Hawk.
Hebron Got a New Court
In McHenry County news, Hebron refreshed its gym floor this summer and the new center court logo includes the signatures of the 1952 state champs:
We really need to do some McHenry County features as this blog keeps growing. There are so many things those of you not from there need to know. For example: We had great basketball in the early 1950s! Wasn’t just Hebron! We really got worse at that sport as a county.
Lionel Messi Is Here to Make Money
I saw Messi’s face on the side of a bus last week in Chicago, advertising a chicken sandwich at Hard Rock Cafe, and it felt odd. It felt like something beneath Lionel Messi. Then I remembered that Lionel Messi is in the MLS now, and the Hard Rock Cafe was placed in its proper perspective. If the MLS is not beneath Lionel Messi, then what is?
I’m sure Messi playing in the MLS is good for the MLS. More people are tuning into the MLS than was previously the case, and some of those will likely stick around, and those who really get attached probably won’t notice that they’re watching one of the worst professional athletic leagues in the developed world. But at the same time: Have you no respect, MLS players? This guy is showing the whole country how bad you are! And it’s really bad!!! This is like if Michael Jordan had retired to playing basketball in modern-day McHenry County. Also? We definitely need to refer to Lionel Messi as retired. This is his retirement. Beating the shit out of the poor schlubs we call professional soccer players.
If I was in the MLS, I would ask to go play in a lower league. I would want to make space for Lionel Messi. That man is good enough to play here? I must be in the wrong place. Is there a YMCA around?
(Austin FC got walloped by St. Louis last night but is still in playoff position. I’ve also learned in the last one minute that St. Louis is having a great year. Congratulations, St. Louis. That’s great.)
Was Gunnar Henderson Padding His Stats?
Gunnar Henderson turned down a cycle yesterday, running to second when he could have stopped at first and accomplished an historic feat. The Orioles were going to win regardless of what Henderson did, so it’s not like he was doing it for the sake of competition. No, Gunnar Henderson was merely being a selfish baseball player and padding his own stats. Congratulations on your extra ten thousand dollars in arbitration in three years for those two points of slugging percentage, Gunnar. You just robbed an Oakland dad of a chance to remind his five-year-old that he not only saw the A’s play in Oakland, but that he saw a guy hit for the cycle.
Joe Kelly 1, Mother Nature 0
Nature tried to send a hurricane after Joe Kelly this weekend, but Dodger Stadium’s parking lot is reportedly dry today, and as far as we can tell, our hero’s bullpen went ok on Friday?
We never heard back about the bullpen, which seems like good news, and Joe Kelly’s co-author, Rob Bradford, announced this afternoon that Kelly won’t be with the team when they go to Boston this weekend, as he’ll be rehabbing. I’m hoping that means he’s going out on a minor league rehab assignment, or that he’s got to do something special in LA and isn’t going to need a rehab assignment, but I don’t know how exactly to take it. The bottom line is: He’s still rehabbing. It does not sound like he’s shutting down at all to let the inflammation die. This feels positive.
Javy Báez vs. The Cubs
I guess the Cubs didn’t play the Mets down the stretch in 2021, because I’m told that tonight, for the first time, Javier Báez will play against the Chicago Cubs.
Obviously, it was a good decision to trade Javy Báez. He’s struggled since, and the return—Pete Crow-Armstrong—is now the Cubs’ top prospect. But it feels weird to have gotten used to Javy Báez *not* being on the Cubs. 2021 wasn’t that long ago!
Fargo Goes Home
A bummer for our guys. An 0–2 record in Williamsport.
Fargo didn’t get ten-runned at all, so it’s not like they were uncompetitive, but the offense never clicked the way it did during the Midwest Region, and the nation never got to fall in love with the little city with the big boppers. They bopped and they bopped until they couldn’t bop no more. When they could no longer bop? It was time to stop.
Play is ongoing today, but twelve teams remain in action. Northeast Seattle Little League seems to be the U.S. favorite. I would have called Musashi Fuchu Little League, from Tokyo, the international favorite, but as they currently trail Kuei-Shan Little League, from Taoyuan, Taiwan, that probably means that Pabao Little League, from Willemstad, Curaçao, is the international favorite. The Pabao kids just haven’t been scoring that much. I’m worried about their offense.
On the subject of Fargo: Our dog, Fargo, got a haircut today, and the bandana this time has ladybugs on it. She seems to have accepted an afternoon of bandana life, because she is snoozling away in that thing. I should probably show her A Bug’s Life sometime. Could that movie get made today??????????????
Thank you for covering the v important hawk news.