Joe Kelly is scheduled to throw another bullpen session today, having thrown one Tuesday with no issues. If today goes well, he’ll pitch a simulated game on Tuesday. This is all per David Vassegh of AM 570 LA Sports, who is doing the Joe Kelly equivalent of reporting from a war zone.
To keep the war metaphors going: I haven’t seen Oppenheimer (I keep trying but I have guessed wrong on the theatre 18 times in a row and therefore seen Barbie 21 times), but I’d imagine there are some scenes where he’s working on the Manhattan Project and other scientists are working with him on the Manhattan Project and other non-scientists are working with him on the Manhattan Project, and those non-scientists are probably thinking, Dang, this is wild. I’m in the room while people work on one of the biggest competitive developments in human history. This is going to be a big deal. You know, the janitors and the cooks and the waitress from the Cheesecake Factory who’s there for comic relief and to serve as a love interest after meeting the guys because she lives across the landing. Those guys (and girl).
Those non-scientists? Strong parallel here to the batters in the potential Joe Kelly simulated game. The most important figures in the Dodgers’ quest for this World Series are Joe Kelly. Behind him, though, it’s anonymous minor leaguers helping him rehab.
You Call Yourselves American?
The American Athletic Conference announced today that it isn’t going to “look westward” for new teams, which hopefully means it’s planning to invade the ACC to get SMU back but probably just means it isn’t bidding for Oregon State and Washington State. Kind of rude, to be honest. You couldn’t at least throw a few bucks at them to try to get a better price from the Mountain West? Lame. Not a bro move, AAC.
The thing that gets me here is that the American Athletic Conference is the conference that should *most* desire a coast-to-coast league. They’re American, for Pete(Thamel)’s sake! That’s even more Manifest Destiny a name than Conference USA.
Alternative blurb idea: Is SMU dodging North Texas?
Oh Yeah! Football Games!
Poor Nebraska.
Good for Utah.
I think that covers last night.
Hunger Strike in a Hospital
The mother of Luis Rubiales (the Spanish soccer coach who almost lost all his players and then got those players back and then kissed one of those players after winning the Women’s World Cup, sparking an international scandal and successfully making the Women’s World Cup all about a man) might have ended her hunger strike. After two or three days, she was taken to a hospital, and now she’s out, and I’m going to go out on a limb here and say they wouldn’t have released her if she was still striking. I don’t think you get healthier as a hunger strike goes on. They don’t even promise that during a juice cleanse.
I’m going to go out on another limb here and say that Luis Rubiales’s mom maybe didn’t think this through. We’ve all seen a middle-aged woman think she holds more power than she does, and I think Luis Rubiales’s mom maybe thought that once she announced the hunger strike, everyone would back off. Hey guys, that woman is a mother. Very “I’d like to speak to a manager” energy.
What do you think led to Luis Rubiales’s mom growing this inaccurate opinion of her own importance? Do you think it was Mother’s Day? It would be wild if the response to this chauvinist violence was to get rid of Mother’s Day. What a twist that would be.
What Was That Russian Guy Yelling About?
If you’re an international athlete and your country is carrying out a brutal invasion of another country, complete with hints of genocide, I personally think that you should probably just accept that you are not going to be well-liked by international fans. I understand that you might not want to speak out—your head of state has established very thoroughly that he can and will kill those who oppose him, and that probably includes your family and friends and childhood teachers—but you have to be ready for some vitriol from a US Open crowd that’s previously made news this week for being stoned.
Daniil Medvedev?
Not ready.
Late last night, Daniil Medvedev briefly fell apart in the middle of his victory over Australian underdog Chris O’Connell. O’Connell had pushed it to a tiebreaker, but Medvedev had put himself in a position to win the match, and when he double-faulted to spark an O’Connell rally which forced a fourth set, Medvedev pushed a camera, yelled at a fan to “shut up,” and yelled, “Are you stupid or what?” at the crowd, at which point a woman holding a beer and wearing a “US Open” hat (that is a great hat, that hat is one hat better than Rob Lowe’s NFL hat, that hat is like if Rob Lowe was wearing a hat that read “NFC Championship”) blew him a kiss.
Imagine being Sebastián Báez, Medvedev’s next opponent. You’re 22. You’re from Buenos Aires. You’re in New York, playing the deepest you’ve ever played in a major, and you’re up against one of the best tennis players in the world. The crowd has no idea who you are and also supports you blindly and recklessly, mostly because the guy you’re playing is a gigantic asshole from a country led by one of the world’s leading doers of evil. That’s gotta rock if you’re Sebastián Báez tomorrow.
