For years, I have had an instinct to dislike Trevor Lawrence and a corresponding instinct to like Trevor Lawrence. I understand neither fully, but let me take a shot.
The thing that makes me want to dislike Trevor Lawrence is that his face makes me uncomfortable. I think we’re all trusting enough of one another in here to say that Trevor Lawrence has a little too elegant of a face to allow for natural human interaction, especially paired with that eerily straight hair. Trevor Lawrence’s nose is gigantic. It is a massive, massive nose. And it somehow works? Also, let’s talk about that “brother” of his who is an artist. Are we sure Trevor Lawrence isn’t really into art and also in possession of a time-turner from Harry Potter?
The thing that makes me want to like Trevor Lawrence is that he’s cool. For being the greatest physical specimen to ever play quarterback, he’s remarkably down to earth. Never have I heard a Trevor Lawrence interview that made me think, “That guy’s a douchebag,” and he actually seems more in touch with normalcy than those kids from high school who have phenomenal cheekbones and win state championships at QB at the high school with good test scores in town and then become doctors while their parents who are friends with yours move into a new house down the street from your parents’ place so you get a lot of updates on the latest way they’re saving the world while you write an NIT blog and consistently wreck your intestines by compulsively ordering an extra pizza at the bowling alley to go with your third Busch Light of the hour (that place closes really early).
Anyway, we got cool Trevor Lawrence on Saturday night, after he threw the fastest four interceptions in NFL history (I’m guessing on that one and I know it probably isn’t true) and then led the Jaguars to a gigantic comeback that further ripped the souls out of the few remaining beleaguered San Diegans still in on the Chargers. He made the greatest use of a great meme and then went to Waffle House. Trevor Lawrence is going to be president in 2048 and I’m going to vote for him, not tell anybody, and then go bowling and eat a pizza by myself.
We Were Right About Tulane?
The quick summary of the 2022-23 men’s college basketball season is that we included Tulane on our initial list of Ten Teams Who Could Win the NIT™ because we said they were Having a Moment, a reference to the fact they were on their way to embarrassing USC in the Cotton Bowl. Then, they started 7-5, the Cotton Bowl came and went, and we folded our hands and quite publicly waited for a loss so we could add some fresh blood to The Ten.
That loss has not yet come.
On Saturday, Tulane welcomed UCF to New Orleans, had a bad offensive night, and won by eight while nearly scoring eighty.
This team is going to win the NIT.
UNLESS ONE OF THESE OTHER NINE DOES!
In complete and total seriousness, we do need to update the list. It turns out our line on Wyoming is them missing seven straight chances at a win that could turn the season around. Wyoming will, sadly, not win the 2023 NIT. Taking their place is Texas Tech, because Mark Adams might blow up a player’s car in the parking lot of the Dustin R. Womble Basketball Center if they don’t get it together at some point, dammit.
The other eight!
Dayton
Dayton finally lost an A-10 game (they’re 4-1, I say this as though A-10 play has been going on for months), and that’s the kind of shit we like to see. It is very difficult to go undefeated in the Atlantic 10 and make the NIT. If anyone could do it, it might be this Dayton outfit which has still yet to beat a single team currently in the KenPom top 100, but had they beaten VCU that might not have been true anymore (would have been close, VCU is 93rd with that win), and that has our brain in a big knot so let’s talk about another team now.
Oklahoma State
Oklahoma State is 9-8 and would still be favored head-to-head against Miami. That’s ideal for NIT title contention in mid-January.
Oklahoma
It’s very easy to tell Oklahoma State and Oklahoma apart, but we pretend we can’t because the idea is the same: These are good teams in a great conference, which is a special recipe for NIT success. Hit .500 on the dot, friends. Pull off the Shaka Smart.
Notre Dame
Notre Dame is a terrible team whose shitty old players look dead set on forcing the retirement of the storied, lovable coach who never quit believing in them, and that’s exactly why I assume Mike Brey will turn this around. Another awful loss this weekend, this time blowing a late big lead to Syracuse, who hilariously plays the Boeheim zone as designed but just lets everyone make every shot they take because they’re such underwhelming athletes. When you’re getting torched by the 2023 ACC…
Sorry, this is supposed to be about NIT teams.
Illinois
Illinois might have figured it out. Illinois might have also just run into Wisconsin and Nebraska back-to-back before hosting a team who will only miss the NIT because of the Tom Izzo Exception, which states that if your name is Tom Izzo your team gets to go to that devil-worshiping ritual in Dayton at a minimum so long as you’re a couple wins above .500.
UAB
Jelly Walker’s hurt, which is great for UAB because they’ve been playing like a fermented hemorrhoid (gotta assume that’s where the Jelly nickname comes from) but now when he comes back and they pull it together a little bit they’ll get the “UAB struggled without Jelly Walker but now they’ve got their guy back” treatment. We’re close to pulling the plug on UAB actually winning the NIT, but we want to do it more dramatically. They’ve somehow passed Tulane and Notre Dame as the teams closest to eviction from this list.
St. John’s
Speaking of avoiding eviction, St. John’s pulled UConn’s pants down and showed those whitey-tighties to the world yesterday in the funniest basketball game of the year going by final score alone. Someone get last year’s Illinois team out of UConn’s uniforms.
(pause)
(I always forget one team on this list)
(Is it in the Mountain West?)
Memphis
MEMPHIS! Duh. The favorite.
Memphis escaped Temple by two points in Philly while turning the ball over only nine times and making 81% of their free throws. Just shot horribly from the floor, I guess. I love this box score. Didn’t watch the game but I love this box score. Oh golly they were down 41-33 halfway through the second half. I really should have watched this game. I’m never going to visit a friend again.
**
Our itinerary for the day ahead:
7:00 PM EST: Syracuse @ Miami (ACCN)
Jim Boeheim’s least favorite team of all time goes to play Jim Larrañaga’s continued hoax somewhere near Miami, Florida and we’re calling it the Game of the NITe. It’s too bad Boeheim is such an asshole, because the hit show Jim & Jim where Larrañaga and Boeheim move in together and Larrañaga keeps trying to do fun things and Boeheim keeps hissing at him like a caged stray cat will never get a pilot episode shot, but at the same time, Boeheim being a human being would quickly make the show forced and annoying, so maybe it’s for the best.
7:00 PM EST: FAU @ Western Kentucky (ESPNU)
7:00 PM EST: North Texas @ FIU (ESPN+)
9:00 PM EST: UAB @ MTSU (CBSSN)
Conference USA has taken over Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and I’m sure there’s a quote out there we can spin to make it sound like this is the exact thing he envisioned.
6:00 PM EST: Illinois @ Minnesota (BTN)
I fell in love with Ben Johnson on Thursday night, as I’m sure I would fall in love with most coaches if their terrible power conference team was upsetting a good power conference team on the road and the broadcast was giving me a live feed of that coach’s mic. This is our second date, and if he beats Illinois I will call him and schedule a third.
8:15 PM EST: Cowboys @ Bucs (ABC)
I don’t think Tom Brady’s plastic surgery worked. It worked for a little while but he looks his weirdest now.
6:00 PM EST: Senators @ Blues (ESPN+)
Thank goodness the Sens didn’t play on Saturday. Counterpoint to missing the Memphis game.
