Something that’s held IndyCar back in recent years is that people don’t know it exists. They know the Indy 500 is out there, but they don’t think about it long enough to wonder if there’s a racing league associated with it. They’re just vaguely aware of its existence.
Another thing that’s held IndyCar back is that Josef Newgarden has been a really boring guy. Hailing from the Nashville suburbs, Newgarden should be an all-American kid, racing cars and eating hot chicken. Instead, he’s got a Danish passport, he spells his name like a not insignificant number of Nazis, and the most original thing anyone knows about him is that he’s good at racing open wheel cars on ovals and decent when he has to turn right. This is IndyCar’s best driver? No wonder Indiana’s becoming a WNBA state.
Thankfully, Team Penske—Newgarden’s team and basically the owners of IndyCar itself, which is a funny combination—broke some rules, and pardon my language, but Newgarden is being a little punk about it. (I would say “huge bitch,” but that’s insulting to women. The same goes for the next section, in which we will be discussing LeBron James.)
To be clear, I have no problem with Newgarden’s response, in which he said he got confused about the rules because they were different for an exhibition that also happened last month. On a similar note, Pato O’Ward’s assessment that a lot of people at Penske had to turn a blind eye towards this adds up. It’s not like Newgarden did this himself. But as Newgarden choked back tears today, apologizing with one hand while making excuses with the other, he felt a whole lot like a Duke basketball player. He wanted everyone to let this go. He wanted people to like him. It made the thing worse. It was a good villainous moment.
In the social media era, we have a lot fewer out-and-out assholes in sports than we had thirty years ago. Different norms, fewer steroids, more pressure to be likable. We don’t get asshole villains anymore. We do, though, get little punk villains. And if Josef Newgarden can be a little punk villain, one who Cali kid/open wheel savant Colton Herta thinks is full of shit, IndyCar has a better chance of getting people to like it. We might even hear some boos at the Brickyard at the end of next month.
Speaking of Little Punks
Ok, so LeBron James didn’t actually mean ‘it’s only a game’ last night when he said, after the Lakers fell to within one loss of elimination, “At the end of the day, it’s just basketball.” He was saying that the Lakers’ problem is simpler than it’s being made out to be. He wasn’t saying he doesn’t care.
Also, maybe Taurean Prince really did do something wrong that made LeBron get mad at him midway through the fourth quarter, even if it sure looked like LeBron was blaming Prince for LeBron dribbling a basketball off Lebron’s knee.
But man, we almost had him. We almost had the most LeBron James hour in the history of LeBron James. Talk about a good whiny villain.
Sean Payton Theories
I didn’t intend for this to be Sean Payton week, but he’s come up again, so here are two possible explanations for the Bo Nix pick:
1. Maybe Sean Payton’s been without a good quarterback long enough that any quarterback he watches looks awesome to him. Zach Wilson? The potential is everywhere. Bo Nix? A professional already. Maybe Russell Wilson broke Sean Payton.
2. Maybe Sean Payton hates Russell Wilson so much that he’s actively trying to bring in mediocre quarterbacks he can say look great. Basically, maybe Sean Payton knows Zach Wilson and Bo Nix and Jarrett Stidham are who they are, but he wants Russell Wilson to think the first thing is going on. Maybe he’s trying to say to Russell Wilson, “You were so bad that you make me think Bo Nix looks good.” Maybe Russell Wilson broke Sean Payton, but in a very different way.
Robert Kraft Theories
In the night’s other bizarre pick, the Falcons drafted Kirk Cousins’s successor just a few weeks after signing Kirk Cousins to a four-year contract. Why? If I had to guess, it’s that the Falcons think they’re good enough to be planning for 2028 right now. There is a delusion happening, and that’s my bet for which delusion it is.
Where I think Robert Kraft comes into this:
Remember last week, when all those stories were swirling about Kraft speaking ill of Bill Belichick so Arthur Blank wouldn’t hire him? Maybe Kraft’s real goal was to take down the Falcons. Maybe he was a little worried about there being another competent franchise in the NFL, and so he asked Blank which way he was leaning. Maybe Blank said, “Well Rob, I could either hire Bill Belichick or I could give control of the team to this group of idiots who want to build the oldest quarterback room ever built while neglecting the rest of our roster.” Maybe Kraft thought for a second, then said, “You know, Bill Belichick’s a real asshole to work with.”
Etc.
The NIT, Texas, and Other College Basketball Pet Interests:
- Texas added Jordan Pope, the guy from Oregon State, and I must say: Rodney Terry is bringing in some guys I like. Pope. Julian Larry. Jayson Kent. Are the Longhorns looking very competitive? Not unless Tre Johnson and Tramon Mark gel on the court like a modern basketball P.J. Tucker/LaMarcus Aldridge combo. But Terry’s putting me in a hard spot here.
Chicago:
- I’m sorry, but they’re still the Bears. It sucks for Caleb Williams. It sucks for Rome Odunze. But they’re still the Bears. Until they show that they’re not the Bears, I have no choice but to stand by the statement that the Chicago Bears are the Chicago Bears.
- The Cubs swept the Astros. How about that?
Joe Kelly, Burnley, and the Ottawa Senators:
- No outings for Joe Kelly in the Nationals series. If you think of his arm as a windup car, it’s gotta be so loaded heading to Toronto.
- Burnley plays at Manchester United tomorrow. Luton’s at Wolverhampton. On Sunday, Nottingham hosts Manchester City. Burnley probably won’t gain any ground, but if they can hold the deficit to one and Nottingham loses by 15 to Man City, they’ll pull even with each other in goal differential, which could prove relevant.
- The Belleville Sens are at Toronto tonight, looking to win the best-of-three series and move on to the Calder Cup’s round of 16. If they lose, they get one more chance back in Belleville on Sunday.
NASCAR, IndyCar:
- The stock cars are at Dover this weekend, and the biggest storyline is NASCAR vs. weather, as Dover’s seen a lot of rainouts in recent years. Not great to have the weather be your biggest storyline. But! It’s supposed to be dry on Sunday. If you’re going to have a boring storyline, at least make it one where you win.
- IndyCar is at that road course complex down by Birmingham. I hope it gets ugly. Would be great for IndyCar if it got ugly.
Austin FC:
- Austin hosts the LA Galaxy tomorrow, and if you’re wondering which semi-retired international superstar leads the Galaxy these days, I don’t think there is one? If there is, it’s no one whose name is jumping off the page at me. Evidently they’re good right now, though. I wonder if there’s a correlation there.
