Among the BCS era’s greatest lasting impacts is that college football people evidently really hate computers. The latest? A Michigan assistant might have destroyed one. Think Office Space.
We don’t know whether he destroyed it or not. Ross Dellenger and Dan Wetzel report that he may have, and that he also might have just destroyed some damning files. Whatever he did, linebackers coach Chris Partridge is out, with Pete Thamel reporting Michigan fired him under a clause related to discussing an ongoing NCAA investigation. Did he destroy digital evidence? Did he talk about the ongoing investigation with players and/or other coaches? The reports, combined, say yes.
Dellenger and Wetzel report Michigan’s decision yesterday to settle with the Big Ten stems from the NCAA uncovering evidence that Partridge destroyed evidence, as well as evidence that a Michigan booster referred to as “Uncle T” financed the sign-stealing operation Connor Stalions allegedly ran. Very fun stuff. I’m sure it’s possible to find out Uncle T’s real name, but it sure is fun to have the latest wrinkle in the scandal involve a well-resourced man operating under nickname-based anonymity.
Two thoughts:
First, the scandal remains perfect. It’s like the pillow fight in Community. It’s about as close to harmless as you can get, yet it’s taken the shape of all the ugly scandals that plague college sports and the rest of society. The gross thing about True Crime podcasts is how much they want murder to happen. Here, there’s nothing gross! Nobody got murdered; nobody really got that hurt. The scandal is just serious enough that we’re getting answers and yet innocent enough that those answers are pure and total fun.
Second, I’m starting to think Michigan is in disbelief. I think Michigan is so stuck-up that it’s authentically furious at any talk of investigation or punishment. Michigan doesn’t think it’s possible it could have done anything wrong! Then, when the NCAA comes by and says, “Hey, Uncle T was paying that kid to steal all the signs, and it looks like your linebackers coach deleted a bunch of files,” Michigan says, “Oh wow. We had no idea.” It’s like when casual Liberty fans found out about Hugh Freeze’s career before Liberty. Similarly to that situation, Michigan should probably know that it isn’t above all that much.
Viva Las Vegas
I don’t know why F1’s debacle last night is being painted as a debacle. (Sparknotes: F1 had to stop the first practice in Las Vegas after eight minutes because a drain cover came loose and tore up Carlos Sainz’s car.) The point of F1, as everyone is roundly agreeing in their coverage of this event, is not the driving. It’s not about the race. Now, cars looking cool and driving fast is important—that’s a big deal, so I guess I get it to an extent—but cars are only about 20% of F1, and as Max Verstappen admitted, only about 1% is competition. So, congratulations to F1 on what’s been a rousing success so far. You have successfully created something shiny, yet again. At worst, that’s a B-minus.
Making the whole thing much better is that in the midst of everyone awake saying, “What the hell, F1,” the A’s decided to chime in. Yes, the Oakland A’s. They’re still going by that. You see, yesterday morning the A’s were formally approved by MLB owners to move to Las Vegas, but either they have to spend one more year in Oakland or they haven’t gotten around to changing their social media handles. I don’t know which. Which is not important. What’s important is that as everyone awake was saying, “What the hell, F1,” the A’s decided to chime in, and the A’s decided to chime in by posting a photo of the Las Vegas Sphere looming over the disastrous racetrack, looking like this:
Las Vegas, you had a good run in the sporting world. The Knights won a Stanley Cup, the NIT Final Four was fun, and the Raiders’ stadium gets great reviews. All of that is over. The A’s are in town, and you’re going to do things the A’s way now. Starting with this F1 thing.
The Cubs Might Be Listening
Who, among those involved with the Cubs, do I hate the most? Craig Counsell.
Who, among those involved with the Cubs, do I love the most? Pat Hughes.
So, it’s noteworthy that the Cubs made sure to get Craig Counsell talking this week about a fun memory of his involving a younger Pat Hughes. See, Stu? They seemed to say. He’s not all that bad.
It’s not working (yet), but I appreciate the effort.
Vengeance for Burnley
Two years ago, Burnley was relegated from the Premier League, partly because Everton wasn’t punished at the time for breaking the Premier League’s financial rules (these rules say that teams can’t lose money, which sounds boring—let them try to win!—but I’m told is important because it keeps a team from going bankrupt and possibly making the whole league fall apart). Today? Everton’s punishment came down. Everton was docked ten points, equivalent to three wins and a tie. Burnley’s still behind them in the standings.
Now, this is better for Burnley than there being no punishment for Everton. Burnley was five points back of safety, and now they’re only two points back, a deficit they could theoretically make up as soon as tomorrow* when they play West Ham at Turf Moor. But this punishment is massive, and Everton was already bad, and Everton is still in a better spot than Burnley.
Thankfully, I’m told Chelsea and Man City might get obliterated if the EPL assigns proportional punishment for their own violations of similar rules. Maybe Burnley can stay in the EPL by merely being financially responsible and never actually winning a game. Just get enough opponents sanctioned.
*Update, 11/18: I got the schedule wrong again. No game this weekend. I need to figure out calendars.
Miscellany
Things and thoughts:
- The Sens won yesterday on a Tim Stützle goal with two seconds left in overtime. Earlier, they blew a 4–0 lead, and in so doing they gave the Red Wings a point, but hey, they’re on vacation. They’ve got the Wild tomorrow before they fly back to the States (of Canada). Early puck drop here in the Western Hemisphere.
- The Bulls have to play the Magic again tonight. Do the Magic have their number? It’s not a hard number to acquire.
- If the Packers don’t beat the Chargers I may have to accept that they’re really bad, and not just bad. I don’t think the Chargers are all that bad, but this feels like one where the swings of the universe suggest a Packers win, so if it doesn’t happen, the Pack might be out of the universe’s reach.
- Joe Kelly evidently has a good story about javelinas outside his house, so we’ll be listening to the Baseball Isn’t Boring podcast this weekend to dig into whether Joe Kelly’s fastball can stop a pack of 30 to 50 feral hogs.
- Does brushing make dogs less itchy? Fargo is itchy and she’s a few days overdue for a brushing.
- Texas returns to Madison Square Garden on Sunday, and they play Louisville. The football team’s season is also still going on.
