Ok, the dog seems to be done doing that super soaker impression with her butt, so we’re going to catch up on notes, where a lot’s happened since Wednesday (actually, not that much—we all lucked out). If you’re here for NIT content, good. Also, we’re going to ease into that, because there’s a lot to cover (again, not actually that much, things are fairly slow right now). First things first:
Holy Butts, Senators
The Ottawa Senators returned to gameplay on Saturday, losing to a fully-in-the-tree (that’s Ontarian for “None of the guys have Covid”) Leafs squad 6-0. In happier news, Colin White returned to practice…today? Was that today? I just drove down to a place called Creedmoor (I love Creedmoor, to be clear) and then killed time in a Petco. I’m a little dazed. Also, our heat doesn’t work right now so sure feels like a hockey rink in here am I right?? (Hockey rinks often have working heat, making this joke potentially misleading for those unfamiliar with hockey rinks.)
Bad Times for Burnley
The Burnley Burnleys also returned to gameplay in recent days, getting cleanly beaten (as expected) by Manchester United and then getting cleanly beaten (this one was bad) by Leeds, something that was all the worse an experience because 1) Leeds could have relegation potential, making them a potential Burnley life raft; 2) Leeds isn’t very good at footie; and 3) Leeds is deserving of legitimate hatred for being the way that they are. Similarly to yard signs against multi-family housing rezoning, God made Leeds so we could hate them.
The bright spot here is that Burnley’s still in 18th, sits only two points back of Watford for the first non-relegation spot, and has yet to play Watford at all. The dark spot is that Burnley looked like dog shit against Leeds, and as we established in the opening sentence, I have seen more than my share of dog shit in its worst forms these last few days.
Burnley gets Leicester next, but not until the 15th. Guessing it’s an international break? Guessing that because Maxwel Cornet’s off to play in the African Cup of Nations.
We’ll try to fill in some gaps in the meantime.
NIT: College Football Edition
The Sun Bowl made an awesome case for itself as college football’s NIT this year, with freezing rain, Jim McElwain, and two schools Google Maps just failed to connect when I asked it for directions between the two by train.
The Citrus Bowl also did good work, featuring a perfectly fine game of football between two perfectly fine teams in Iowa and Kentucky that ended with Iowa throwing an interception, as is tasteful.
The Gator Bowl made a Covid case, which is to say it felt like a Covid NIT. Rutgers was there. Rutgers was 5-7. Wake Forest annihilated Rutgers.
If I were inclined to lie down and take it (“it” being the novel coronavirus pandemic), I would name the Gator Bowl this year’s College Football NIT. But I’m not going to do that. Congratulations, Citrus Bowl. I still think Vrbo’s an acronym.
NITe Train: Arkansas
Today’s NITe Train goes to Arkansas, who way back on Wednesday lost calmly and confidently to Mississippi State in Starkville. A responsible result for a team with its eyes on the ultimate prize. Eric Musselman, I know you’ve coached in Madison Square Garden before. I don’t know your exact NBA history, but I know it’s out there. I might even find it out, if asked.
NIT or NOT? Memphis (the Tulane game not the Wichita State game)
See what you’ve done, puppy’s dysfunctional intestines? We were all set to talk about how Memphis’s loss to Tulane was helpful to their NIT chances, but before we got a chance, they went and beat Wichita State on Saturday which kind of flipped the dang script around. Ugh. Next?
NIT or NOT? Michigan
Ooh, there we go. Have you guys heard of Michigan? The university, I mean. Not the state. I’m sure you’ve all heard of the state.
Well, Michigan lost to UCF on…Thursday, it appears, and people were asking whether this was a result that would send the Wolverines to the NIT. As is so often the case, the answer is no. Michigan plays in the Big Ten, and we aren’t going to let the Big Ten sneak up on us. Also, Michigan’s way too good and UCF’s too good of a road opponent for this loss to actually hurt. But most importantly, we do not believe in the Big Ten until it proves itself.
Verdict: NOT.
Indiana
Look, again, we don’t see Indiana getting in, but taking a ho-hum sleepwalk loss in State College only fans and ardent haters would notice and making everyone notice by trying to hide Penn State in the final score graphic? Hilarious move. It’s hard to quit you, Big Ten.
The ‘A’ Stands for Appreciation
In other silliness, La Salle has two smoke machines now. The A-10 is great because you have teams like Richmond trying to convince us they’re national players and you also have teams like La Salle busting out a second smoke machine and leaving flaming bags of poop on Duquesne’s porch (sorry for all the fecal talk, it’s either that or jokes about being cold and people get weirdly mad when you talk about being cold in Texas, like they expect you to both have heat and not have heat down here).
Our Personal Proxy War
Since we last lined them up head to head, Texas has taken the lead in wins over Shaka Smart on the season, though to be fair, Shaka Smart’s team has played more than three games against teams where all the players have touched a basketball before. Patience, friends. Patience. (Each plays tomorrow night and the recipe’s there for a side-by-side making mockery of Texas—I’m loaded and ready, so be warned, Longhorns).
Game of the NITe
(Vacant)
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With no Game of the NITe, our viewing schedule this evening is to catch some Z’s, wake up early, and hope the heating tech comes tomorrow because if they don’t I’m going to keep thinking of really mean things to say to my landlords that I probably won’t actually ever say.
