Sometimes, you just need to replace the word “bar” in a song with “barf.” Five examples:
“I Was Dancing in the Lesbian Bar” – Jonathan Richman
The cult (and Conan O’Brien) favorite’s song about dancing is already pretty fun, but it gets real fun when you pretend Richman’s talking about dancing in lesbian barf.
“Rockstar” – Nickelback
This is a big leadup, so not exactly worth it, but when you get to “and we’ll hang out in the coolest barfs” everyone will suddenly understand why you’ve been singing things like “guitarfs” and “Boulevarf,” and they might not laugh, but they’ll get the joke.
“I Love This Barf” – Toby Keith
Similarly, people will be confused when you start this song talking about “movie starfs.” But by the time you get to “and we like to drink our beer from a mason jarf,” they will all be anxiously awaiting the punchline, which of course, at the end of every verse, is: “I love this barf.”
“Don’t You Want Me” – The Human League
Quick. Easy. “You were working as a waitress in a cocktail barf!” They cut the mic. You’re escorted from the stage. This karaoke place stinks.
“Barbara Ann” – The Beach Boys
And finally, the best of all of them.
BARF BARF BARF BARF BARFBARF ANN.
(in harmony) BARF BARF BARF BARF BARFBARF—(soaring) BARFBARF AAAAA-AAA-AAANNNN…
Kills ‘em every time.
