There’s a funny story in the Bible where the Israelites ask God to give them a king. God says, “Ok, but you know it’s gonna suck, right?” and the Israelites say, “Yes! We want that! Give us a king!” I think about this a lot when people post political things on Instagram.
I don’t think the twelve-team playoff sucks. It’s way better than being subject to an absolute monarchy. I do think Ohio State winning this national championship would suck. And Ohio State’s probably going to win this national championship.
College football was always unique among American sports in its unwillingness to give undeserving teams its biggest trophy. This didn’t make college football better or worse than the others, but it made it unique, and uniqueness is fun. It creates variety. You can watch the NFL, where teams can lose to the Bears and still win the Super Bowl, and you can also watch college football, where getting your pants pulled down by a 6–5 team is disqualifying. Or at least, you could. Now, you can’t. Now, Ryan Day can get embarrassed by his mediocre personal nemesis, and he can still win a national title.
Setting aside my personal laments, this is a funny situation. Ohio State lost to Michigan for the fourth year in a row but is also the national championship favorite. I’d imagine Buckeye fans feel like kids with a rich stepdad. They don’t love Ryan Day. But he takes them to Hawaii every year, and he lets them buy every game they want on their iPad.
Some other thoughts from yesterday:
- Cam Skattebo barfed “profusely” on the sideline, hobbled around after reentering the game, then stumbled off the field, at which point it looked like Kenny Dillingham told him to “go drink some water.” Is “water” code for something? Because the next time we saw Skattebo, he was like Bowser with a Super Star. Also, this is Arizona State. I guess I have to be the one to say it: I think ASU might have put Skattebo on cocaine for the ending of yesterday’s game.
- I entered yesterday absolutely hating Sam Leavitt, mostly because of 1) his hair 2) his underwhelming passing against Iowa State 3) the way he talked about Quinn Ewers and 4) that clip ASU gave ESPN of him touching himself in the mirror, which really ties back to his hair. He played a good game. A big part of it was that he ran when he should have run. Felt like Dillon Gabriel could have used some of that later.
- I like Quinn Ewers, but the man can’t throw a deep ball, right? I’m seeing that correctly? Here I was with this whole theology built around Sam Leavitt underthrowing receivers in the Big 12 Championship, and Quinn Ewers went and passed like that?? Again, I like Ewers. He’s a pro’s pro, and he’s been great for lowering the traditional nonsense around Texas. But I’m starting to fear that Will Howard is better than him at throwing the football down the field, and I am not psychologically prepared to believe good things about Will Howard.
- Underrated moment for people who follow Texas, especially those of us who know Westlake High School: Skattebo pushing off Michael Taffe on that go route. Not only did it manage to draw a flag on Taffe, but it pissed Taffe off so much that he tried to (and maybe did?) rip Skattebo’s helmet off, which is the exact kind of move you don’t expect from a senior safety who was originally a walk-on. Skattebo and Taffe both seem like guys who went to Westlake, because they’re white and great at football, but they’re in different corners of the GPA/household–income chart. (Skattebo did not go to Westlake, to be clear. Just saying he could give that vibe.)
- Somehow also underrated moment: Sark’s unsuccessful Bert Auburn pep talk. I’m a Sark fan, but that got weird. Felt like if the timeout had lasted longer he would have unscrewed Auburn’s facemask and kissed him. Which isn’t inappropriate because of homosexuality (we are anti-ISIS and pro-LGBT), but is inappropriate because of age disparities and the power dynamic at play.
- The terror attack in New Orleans is scary and really, really sad. Already five times deadlier than the Boston Marathon bombing. On a much, much less important side, it makes the Sugar Bowl less fun. The Superdome is gonna be emptier this afternoon.
- I’m glad Jeremiah Smith told the world so emphatically that the world can’t cover him. He’d been so understated I was beginning to worry that he was more a running back than a wide receiver. This is a step in the right direction. The real beauty of the NFL making him wait another couple years to go pro is that in a couple years, he might take the field wearing diamond earrings that would make Terrell Owens blush. We can only hope.
- Will Howard carved up Oregon’s defense, and I know some of that was how open Ohio State’s receivers were, but he also played well. Again, this is troubling.
- I was fully convinced at halftime that Oregon was going to come back and win the game. The fact they didn’t makes me worried that my Ryan Day instincts are out over their skis. My reasonable Ryan Day perspective is that he is terrified of Michigan and hated Kyle McCord. My instinctive Ryan Day perspective is that he’s a dummy. I need to stick to reason. Ohio State isn’t playing Michigan again until next year.
- I feel a little bad for Oregon, but the nice thing about Ohio State becoming the story is that the Ducks mostly managed to dodge a round of fraud talk. Oregon had a good draw in the Big Ten season, only having to play Ohio State at home. We could easily have homed in on that. As it is: Oregon was a classic playoff blowout victim, like Clemson a lot of years and Alabama once or twice and Cincy and Washington and Michigan. No disagreements on them deserving their place, but wow, yeah, guess they weren’t the best team in the country. Whoops!
- Had Ohio State beaten Michigan, Ohio State probably would have beaten Oregon in the Big Ten Championship. That would have pushed Oregon into the 5-seed, meaning they’d have been the ones playing Arizona State in the Peach Bowl, assuming they beat Clemson in Eugene. Texas would have played SMU in the first round and then Boise State in the Fiesta Bowl. Penn State would have met Indiana and then gotten Georgia in today’s Sugar Bowl. Notre Dame would have hosted Tennessee and would have probably been the ones trying to contain Jeremiah Smith yesterday in Pasadena. Michigan really screwed over Oregon, and Michigan really helped Notre Dame? This feels wrong.
