Never imitated? Think again. Per a man named Ramon Montelongo’s Facebook page, Buk-ii’s is coming to Mexico. The picture posted by Montelongo shows a small building painted with an imitation of the iconic Buc-ee’s logo (much skinnier beaver, though, which is our first sign this is not the real thing) and the text “Super Mercado” above the double doors. The location tagged is Santa Librada, Tamaulipas, which appears to be a small town outside Tamaulipas’s state capital of Victoria.
We need to be honest about this picture: This place does not look like a Buc-ee’s. This is a much weaker imitation than even Carhenge is of Stonehenge. It might be great, I have no reason to believe it’s not a wonderful super mercado. But it is no Buc-ee’s. Montelongo does say it’ll allow trucks, for those wondering.
There might be some copyright infringement going on here, but my understanding—based on my impressions of a number of Chinese “official NBA jersey” websites—is that copyright laws might not be applied across international borders, and at the very least are not enforced. At least…not by governments. Buc-ee’s might enforce copyright laws across international borders. By raising its own armed force. Do not discount the possibility of a Buc-ee’s invasion of Tamaulipas.
What this then forces us to ask is: What would happen to the Mexican drug trade if Buc-ee’s took control of Tamaulipas? I see two main possibilities. The first is that Buc-ee’s would shut it down in its sovereign area, cutting off the villainous industry’s lifeblood by providing generous wages at a well-lighted place and staffing that well-lighted place with armed security, a natural transition for veterans of the First Buk-ii’s War. The second is that Buc-ee’s would co-opt the existing supply chains and use them to transport even more addictive fudge, meat smokers, and Americana knickknacks throughout the Mexican northeast.
Henry Knox famously said, “You never know what will happen when you provoke an armed invasion by a gas station.” He was talking about farts—Henry Knox was a renowed flatulator—but the wisdom holds true today. The ramifications from this paint job could be felt for generations on both sides of the Rio Grande. Residents of everywhere from Odessa to Tampico would be wise to make contact with relatives or loved ones outside the potential area of conflict, and to make a plan to flee if violence escalates. Stay safe out there.
