We’re at the Power Ranking stage of the pandemic. I know, I know. It’s not a great stage to be at. In the Spanish Flu pandemic, the Power Ranking stage was brutal: People fighting in the streets over whether their local paper’s high ranking of the “Trench” in the Warfare Power Rankings was justified. But here we are, and we cannot shy away from the moment at hand.
Ten things we’ve lost to the pandemic, ranked (I’m doing this from the perspective of the The Barking Crow community because, well, it’s all I know right now):
1. 130,000 People and Counting
Would hope we’re in agreement on this one.
2. The NIT
Again, fairly obvious.
3. Playing the Peg Game at Cracker Barrel
They don’t put this eternal quest for intellectual greatness in the takeout bag.
4. Distractions
It’s a lot harder to ignore idiocy and other societal plagues when they’re playing a role in making the whole thing worse to begin with.
5. The Killers’ New Album
This delay is brutal, though it’s possible the wait will make the whole thing sweeter.
6. Flights to Reno
The best part of visiting Reno is occasionally the flight to get there, especially if you’re going through Salt Lake, where the numbering on airport gates may make you feel like you’ve stepped into 1996.
7. I don’t know, probably a lot of other stuff I’m forgetting right now
It’s important to be humble when power ranking. Also important to hedge your bets.
8. Frosties
Sucks, man.
9. Laser Tag
I don’t go laser tagging very often, but it’s nice to know it’s there.
10. The Risk of Catching the Flu
All these precautions have taken away the rush of trying to avoid catching the influenza virus. Big thumb on the scale. Don’t like it.
***
There you have it.
