Portland’s New G League Team Got to Do an Expansion Draft?

It’s the Portland in Oregon.

I know you were wondering.

And I know some of you in Oregon are offended that I think you were wondering, because the Portland in Oregon is the bigger Portland, but:

The Portland in Maine already has a G League team.

Tacko Fall played for them.

I saw their arena last summer.

It was more of a gym.

This Oregonian Portland team isn’t news, this was announced in April, I guess maybe in the Pony Express era that would qualify as news but we’re living in the Internet Age and there’s a reason horses no longer have a significant role in media. Portland’s getting a G League team, and yesterday, they had an expansion draft?

The concept of a minor league expansion draft is fun because you, or at least I, can picture a team stealing a good prospect from a whole different franchise. I’m told this isn’t how it works with the G League. Evidently most G League players aren’t tied to a team? I knew this, but I didn’t know this. I knew the Bulls didn’t have a bunch of players stashed in the G League, but I also didn’t? It’s so confusing. You can play for the Austin Spurs and not have any affiliation with the San Antonio Spurs. That feels wrong. (Also, yeah, you can’t steal a good prospect in the G League Expansion Draft because G Leaguers aren’t good prospects, but I WAS TALKING ABOUT ALL THE SPORTS ok I was only talking about baseball and maybe hockey, I don’t know how hockey works either.)

Related: When the Mad Ants move to Noblesville and change their name (which is fucked up, by the way), they should name themselves the Messy Sneezes. I just had a messy sneeze in public, and it was the worst thing I’ve experienced all week. And I haven’t had a great week! I feel like allergists make a killing in Hamilton County, too, so the locals would know. They’d know. They’d get behind the team. The Hamilton County Messy Sneezes would intimidate.

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Sorry, I went on Twitter and got back into the Zion thing. My takeaways are that cosmetic surgery on butts is a bad idea and that I will never see a better putdown than “You are fatter than the clause in your contract.” I want that on a Hobby Lobby-imitation motivational quote board.

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Ok, I’m back.

Really, I was just surprised the G League had expansion drafts. I guess I don’t know how else it would work, though.

Do G League teams play to win?

NIT fan. Joe Kelly expert. Milk drinker. Can be found on Twitter (@nit_stu) and Instagram (@nitstu32).
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