Now that the Senators are in the fold, you might be wondering where the priorities lie around here.
I’m here to answer that.
1. The NIT
Our most significant allegiance is and continues to be to the continued health and grandeur of America’s finest tournament (arguably the world’s finest tournament, @Europa League and @Highland games). Nothing comes before this. If Joe Kelly himself (we’ll get to him next) came down from Los Angeles holding stone tablets which read, “Abandon the NIT,” (I’m picturing “Abandon” on one tablet and “the NIT” on the other) I would say, “Where did you get those tablets, Joe Kelly?” Because I’d know they weren’t from my god.
2. Joe Kelly
Don’t worry, Joe. We know you’d never do that tablet thing.
3. Shaka Smart
This is really a testament to how loyal we’ll be to you if you’re nice to us literally one time. Once. For not-even-ten-minutes.
4. Burnley
I initially wrote “Burnley F.C.” here, but the backspace key ate up the “F.C.” That’s because Burnley is bigger than a football club to us now. It’s a small city in England that we have never been to but has nonetheless captured our hearts. If I ever need to flee the law (don’t worry—nothing in the plans that would necessitate this), Burnley’s on the list of places I would go. And yeah, I know we’ve probably got an extradition treaty with Britain. But I feel like the FBI would say, “Look, is it really that big a crime to pop all the basketballs at the Final Four?” and let me be. Until Mark Emmert sends someone for me with a pickaxe, that is.
5. A lot of other things
I don’t know, I’m probably forgetting stuff. The Cubs, for example. Still like the Cubs. That one predates the blog. And I mean, if the city of Fargo came calling, I’d answer them before I’d answer Ottawa. But—and this is important—this does NOT include Weber State. Not changing their name to the Beekeepers was one thing. I get that. There was some pushback, and we might need to wait for that generation to die out. But not issuing branded merchandise with the phrase “Weber Fever” was another thing entirely. That one was inexcusable.
6. The Ottawa Senators
You’re on the list. Charm me, you hockeymen.
