We have a long history of making fun of those who lament the weather. It’s not the lamentation itself we look down upon, but that’s who takes the brunt of it.
As you can read right there (and here), our complaints are with those who claim the weather is especially flighty where they are when, in reality, it’s not. People have an amazing capacity to deny the existence of the world outside their bubble, and at no time do they do this more aggressively than when it gets cold right after it was warm.
Still, watching from afar as snow fell in the Midwest yesterday, on the heels of spring seeming to have finally sprung, we must clarify our stance: There are places where spring is really, really bad. The weather? Not more volatile in other places. The timing of spring volatility in the Midwest and the Northeast? Unconstitutional.
In most of North America, spring is a good thing, which is why it generally receives such favorable press. There’s still a back–and–forth, give–and–take process, but it all goes down early enough in the year to be treated with patience. In the Midwest and the Northeast, this is not the case. It happens late in the year. Too late. Cruelly late. This is probably why T.S. Eliot wrote that diss track about April.
Further north, too, I’m not sure it’s as bad psychologically. Further north, you’re signing up for it. You know what you’re getting into. If you live in the mountains, there’s gonna be snow around until June. If you live in western Canada or Alaska, your cultural identity is pretty well centered on winter being super frickin long. It’s those in-between places where it gets bad.
So, today, as the weary people of locales like our hometown in northern Illinois look out upon a hopeless landscape, we offer our condolences, and we offer our support. The weather isn’t any more inconsistent where you are. But damn, does springtime up there suck.
