As you may have heard, Sister Jean prayed for Loyola to win yesterday in a certain college basketball tournament we don’t much like around these parts. And while we’ve long been told that no matter is too trivial for the Lord, this does take that to another level. I don’t pray for specific pigs to win in the League of Pigs races I watch on TikTok, and that’s much higher-stakes (although I do, for the record, thank God every time those pigs come out of the starting gate and start snurfling on down the racetrack).
Anyway, here are some more important things Sister Jean could pray for (and perhaps is already praying for):
- An end to lactose intolerance.
- A second Pluto.
- Three bears that dance and sing and run for public office.
- The cessation of conflict between men at gyms and too-small shirt sleeves.
- Sunsets you can taste.
- Some clarity on how to pronounce the word “restaurant.”
- More cake doughnuts on the menus.
- The continued welfare of Waffle House and all who inhabit it.
- Sand that does not stick to your feet unless you ask it to stick to your feet.
- A third polar ice cap.
- Another season of Arthur.
- Two states to merge. Don’t even have to be bordering each other. Preferably not bordering each other.
- Crab cakes for the masses.
- Crab cakes for the Masses. Like maybe as a fish fry kind of deal, after the service is done.
- The reinstitution of Casual Fridays at the bingo alley off Main and Kenner in that town outside Lake Charles.
