I was contemplating Oscar the Grouch last night, as one does.
Questions began to arise.
I tweeted out this one (and my apologies for putting this in the past tense—should’ve been present, but there’s no correcting it now):
Then, I woke up this morning to the realization I was not yet a viral sensation. And I realized I needed to ask more of the questions aloud. Questions about Oscar the Grouch mustn’t sit inside oneself. There they will only fester, burning holes in one’s stomach lining until they’re expelled onto the pages of The Internet™.
Here is that expulsion:
Oscar the Grouch lives in a trash can. We’re told, as children, that trash cans are nasty places, filled with germs. So: Was Oscar a pioneer in recognizing the importance of probiotics?
I have seen trash cans roll. Especially in storms. Is Oscar the Grouch prepared for the possibility of a violent thunderstorm? How did Oscar handle Superstorm Sandy?
I see no mailbox. To where are Oscar the Grouch’s royalty checks sent? Does Oscar the Grouch have a permanent address? Does our favorite Grouch pay his taxes?
I would imagine trash cans rust. How does Oscar the Grouch keep his home in good condition when it is so exposed to the elements?
These are all the questions I have for now. If I have more, I will do my best to let them know. And whatever questions you have, please: ask away. It’s important to keep this dialogue going.
