One Shining MomeNIT, 2023

Well hey there. You’re reading One Shining MomeNIT, our annual tribute to the NIT. The way this works is that we neither have video rights nor video production capabilities, which means we just type out what the montage would look like if we did have those things, and if we also had unfettered behind the scenes access and also everything behind the scenes happened exactly the way we imagine it did.

Please note: We don’t have the rights to the music “One Shining Moment,” or any music, really, besides songs like “Milk Man” and “Joe Kelly Playoff Anthem” which we wrote and recorded ourselves. To properly consume this One Shining MomeNIT, we recommend pairing it with “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant” by Billy Joel. Do we have those rights? Of course not. Is it a good choice for a basketball montage? Nope. But we haven’t become the leading NIT blog on The Internet™ by doing things that make sense. Put it on repeat. This might take a while.

Our video opens cold, in a dimly lit lair in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Hubert Davis is begging Bubba Cunningham.

“Please, sir! Let the children play! The children want to play!”

*Trap door opens. Davis vanishes. The music begins.*

We cut to the bracket reveal, with exhilarated reactions from programs across the country. Who knew Dana Altman had such moves? There’s a bit of confusion over the bracket, because either ESPN or the NIT put the wrong seeds on the 2 and 3-lines, but everyone has a good laugh over it, and the sun sets on a happy nation. Happy, that is, except for a genial but overmatched man knocking on the walls of Bubba Cunningham’s dungeon, meekly voicing, “Hello?”

The music picks up, Billy Joel starts singing about his job and his office (as if we care) while Toledo fast breaks all over Michigan in the early minutes. We get a lot of clips of Rutgers and Hofstra. Caleb McConnell’s dunk. Nelson Boachie-Yiadom tying it up. Tyler Thomas with the game-winner. Derek Simpson’s shot bounces off the rim, and the riotous Rutgers crowd turns to one in silent, stunned sadness.

Michigan is shown celebrating, having escaped Toledo while we were all occupied elsewhere. KJ Buffen is shown getting buckets against Southern Miss. Yale misses approximately one billion shots in a six-second montage (we may have shown a few twice, for effect). There are a weird number of clips of people eating popcorn in the Liberty crowd. We CGI a rim crying after yet another Villanova three-point attempt bludgeons it.

Next, it’s the Steven Crowl show. Dunk on dunk on dunk, lots of clips of exasperated Bradleyers. We get an ominous look at “Jourdan Love” on the nameplate of one of the officials, but then it’s off to Pullman, where Steele Venters is burning nets like a hippie torching flags in the 70s (we may have superimposed his face onto some old footage here). We get a brief look at the KC Ndefo three-point play, we get a brief look at Julian Hammond pushing Colorado into the second round, we see Hubert Davis successfully pull his first brick out of the wall in a basement in Chapel Hill. There is only dirt behind it. Billy Joel is singing about songs. As if we care.

Second day footage starts with a packed house in Youngstown, Ohio and Dwayne Cohill figuratively unconscious from the floor. Oklahoma State chips back, clips of the comeback interspersed with Clemson foibles down south. Cinema critics will later use this in classes to teach aspiring Spielbergs how to demonstrate the consequences of effort. Show. Don’t tell.

Morehead State wins, and we get way too many shots of that Buffalo Wild Wings where they had the watch party. Way too many. We actually splice in some footage from Buffalo Wild Wings commercials where they’re zooming in on the fake food and it all looks delicious and magical and dreamlike. People are laughing. People are having fun. We aren’t in the Morehead Buffalo Wild Wings anymore. This is just a Buffalo Wild Wings commercial. Dammit.

Taylor Hendricks gives us some good footage of offensive dominance, along with one great block. David Stern’s ghost makes a cameo to give a thumbs up and a wink.

At long last, we get our first view of North Texas. It’s just one clip—we don’t even see a shot go up—but the music lowers for a second, and we linger on a wild-eyed child with one hell of a mullet.

Virginia Tech misses a bunch of shots before they and Cincinnati are both hurried off the court by a pushy contractor Cincy hired to do floor maintenance. Wes Miller opens his mouth to say something, but he just shuts it.

Qua Grant highlight reel!!!!!

That was fun.

Santa Clara does the thing where you look at your elbows to see if you’re bleeding after you bonk it. But they’re all doing it. Santa Clara is in pain.

There are some great sweeping shots of The Pit (credit to our exclusive camerawork on those), and they conveniently don’t look at all at the upper deck. It quickly evolves into a Justin Harmon mixtape.

We actually forgot to put any footage in from Oregon/UC Irvine. Big miss on our part. I’m so sorry, Coach Altman. We do show the Morehead State bus returning to town, but no one’s there to greet it. The guys go and get some great gas station hibachi. That’s a fun moment.

The second round starts, and Billy Joel is singing about Brenda and Eddie. We all know where that’s going.

Michigan gets some swaggerful clips in Nashville, and things look bleak for the Commodores, but the frantic comeback begets jubilation from the Dores and tears from the Wolverines. Tyrin Lawrence runs around, celebrating like a king. Fans high five. Lots of high fives. Starts to look a little forced and stock-photo-like, but it’s real footage. We swear!

At this point, we actually just fast forward through the entirety of Cincinnati vs. Hofstra. The whole thing, over in two seconds. Then a nice picture of Yancy Gates. To remind everyone how well he played that day.

We awake in the Kohl Center, where the biggest crowd of the tournament is mildly enthused. Nice family day, to be honest. Lot of dads checking the Sunday specials at various suburban Madison pubs during TV timeouts. Close to lunchtime, after all. We do this for a while. Chucky Hepburn makes a free throw, we show a dad looking at Reuben prices. Chucky Hepburn makes another free throw, we show a dad raising his eyebrows at the cost of a bucket of Miller Lites.

In Stillwater, Oklahoma State is all business, looking serious and emotionless while Eastern Washington looks flustered and ultimately saddened. In Birmingham, Ty Brewer is treating Morehead like a practice squad, which is probably a pretty accurate comparison between those two, to be honest. Sometimes in the NIT, you can get away with being bad. Sometimes in the NIT, you can get away with not trying. Clemson, though, attempted to get away with both.

Tylor Perry and Rubin Jones trade threes for a while, and there’s a nostalgic celebration after the game in the corner where the Mean Green Maniacs sit.

Again, we fail to get footage of the Oregon game. We’re never using that contractor again. Terrible professionalism.

In Boulder, things look a lot like they did in Albuquerque, except there are fewer people in the crowd and the team Utah Valley is pulling away from looks more resigned to their own demise. Mark Madsen starts to dance, but stops himself.

We cut to Chapel Hill. Hubert Davis has begun burrowing into the earth surrounding Bubba Cunningham’s lair.

//MOULAYE SISSOKO STILLWATER GAME MONTAGE//

We get back to Eugene, and finally we have footage, but unfortunately for everyone involved, it’s just Wisconsin trying to break the late-game press. Didn’t even get a picture of that kid’s sign. We insert it anyway, and we all have a good laugh about cheese curds. And then another. And then another! We definitely don’t run that joke into the ground.

//VANDERBILT CLANK MONTAGE//

In Orem, we see a whole lot of the Green Man Group. A whole, whole lot of the Green Man Group. We run the Green Man Group for a solid minute. Brenda and Eddie have long since divorced, Billy Joel has finished his dinner, and we are onto the second playing of the song. Maybe the third, honestly. You’re the one listening to it while reading this. You are listening, right? To get the full effect?

After the Green Man Group, we get a solid five seconds of President Astrid S. Tuminez, and then it’s just dunks. Dunks on dunks on dunks. A three? Yes. And then more dunks. Then back to the Green Man Group.

By this point, Hubert Davis has popped out into UNC’s football stadium locker room, and he can’t get out of the stadium but someone left a Dippin’ Dots cart in there and it’s somehow still cold. Hubert Davis eats some Dippin’ Dots while he waits for morning, and we leave that subplot behind.

Las Vegas. Tons of clips of Las Vegas. Accidentally put one in of Paris—not the Eiffel Tower, a café along the Seine—but I don’t think anyone will notice. Lots and lots of Las Vegas.

We do a little clip-up of NIT Media Day. Laughter. Seriousness. Heartfelt moments, and thorough excitement. Then we do more Las Vegas clips. There’s a guy trying to wrestle the doors on the monorail.

Chucky Hepburn opens the Orleans Arena content. Big, big shots. But as Billy Joel gets back to talking about how his friend lost weight (congrats, by the way, that’s awesome for them), we see the panic set in for the Badgers. We skip a lot of it, because we like Wisconsin, but we do include that final play. We had to include the final play. The ol’ hot potato.

More Green Man Group!!!!!!

The second semifinal highlight reel focuses on the chaos. There’s a lot of Ty Brewer, of course, but most of it is just the crowd losing its mind in alternating excitement and rage. We have to do close angles, but those are better anyway. You really capture the emotion. In the end, UAB emerges victorious, and Andy Kennedy celebrates briefly but then stares stoically into the distance, knowing what’s ahead. We also have a cartoon rendering of Mark Madsen arriving home to a house full of children, a new child on the way, and a contract waiting to be signed to be the coach at Cal. Cartoon Mark looks like any other cartoon dad: An unrealistic standard.

Now, we go gritty with our Las Vegas footage. It was fun and games before, but the gray skies and drizzle give us the chance to show off the city’s industrial side. Billy Joel is singing about convertibles and we are showing a work boot stomping through a puddle. But what else could we show? North Texas is about to play UAB for the national championship.

It’s an intense scene. Kai Huntsberry takes the arm to the head. Lots of clips of frustration from UAB. Jelly Walker gives the Blazers a lift, but North Texas keeps answering. Aaron Scott hits some big shots. The shot clock issues happen and the game gets cluttered and everyone on each side begins losing their mind. At this point, we run a brief ad for the 2024 NIT Final Four at historic Hinkle Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, Indiana. Then we cut back to Tylor Perry doing the things Tylor Perry’s done all year. The clock runs out. The Mean Green celebrate. The confetti billows. And somewhere, somewhere in the ether, Al McGuire smiles.

We have to wait a full two more minutes for Billy Joel to finish the song, though, so we do a lot of net cutting footage.

NIT fan. Joe Kelly expert. Milk drinker. Can be found on Twitter (@nit_stu) and Instagram (@nitstu32).
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