The GameStop saga remains one of the funniest events in the last…I don’t know how long. Some time. And evidence of that is that we’re still uncovering hilarious gems from it, like empty beer cans in bookshelves found in kitchen drawers three weeks after a good party.
You remember that “I Forced a Bot” meme? Where people would write absurdist scripts parodying things and say that they were made by an artificial intelligence system after said A.I. system consumed some ungodly amount of said thing? If you’re not familiar, or if I’m describing it poorly, here’s an example from the meme’s creator, Keaton Patti, who’s now written a book full of these (clicking in will let you see the full “script”):
One of Matt Levine’s newsletters last week (I read it so I can talk to my friends who work at a Hedge Fund—not that they wouldn’t talk to me if I didn’t read it—it just gives me more things to talk about with them) linked to the transcript of a Planet Money interview with one of the more notorious WallStreetBets subreddit posters: imposter22.
And while I know the “I Forced a Bot” meme was halfway parodying things like exactly this, it’s still a trip to see how many instances, within the transcript, read just like one of those memes. Here are a few:
*
UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER, BYLINE: This is PLANET MONEY from NPR.
(SOUNDBITE OF COIN SPINNING)
JACOB GOLDSTEIN, HOST:
I mean, well, first of all, can we use your whole name, I should ask, as a reporter. It’s a classic question.
IMPOSTER22: I’d appreciate it if you didn’t.
*
ALEXI HOROWITZ-GHAZI, HOST:
This is imposter22. At least that’s his username on what has recently become the most famous place on the Internet, the Reddit forum wallstreetbets. Just over a month ago, in December, imposter22 did the thing. He bought stock in a company called, say it with me now, GameStop…
GOLDSTEIN: GameStop.
HOROWITZ-GHAZI: GameStop.
GOLDSTEIN: GameStop.
HOROWITZ-GHAZI: …And posted his purchase on wallstreetbets.
GOLDSTEIN: So read me the whole headline of this Reddit post, including all of the little nonverbal things that come after it.
IMPOSTER22: Doing my part. YOLO – 200K on GME stock today. Expect great things after Christmas. Rocket emoji, rocket emoji, rocket emoji, rocket emoji, rocket emoji (laughter).
*
GOLDSTEIN: Hello, and welcome to PLANET MONEY. I’m Jacob Goldstein.
HOROWITZ-GHAZI: And I’m Alexi Horowitz-Ghazi. Today on the show, an absurdist subreddit, a store that sells video games at the mall and hedge funds.
GOLDSTEIN: Also, a bunch of takes that you can project onto this story to validate almost any preexisting worldview you want.
HOROWITZ-GHAZI: It’s got everything.
(SOUNDBITE OF ALESSANDRO RIZZO AND ELLIOT GREENWAY IRELAND’S “CYBERNETICAL”)
*
GOLDSTEIN: Elon is tweeting about it. The White House is monitoring the situation. Even the average house cat knows GameStop’s stock symbol is GME.
HOROWITZ-GHAZI: It even has its own sea shanty.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, “THE TENDIEMAN”)
CHRIS WILSON: (Singing) There once was a stock that put to sea. The name of the stock was GME. The price blew up, and the shorts dipped down. Hold, my bully boys, hold.
*
HOROWITZ-GHAZI: Yeah, yeah. Like, for example, a few podcast-friendly headlines we just saw today include – here’s one – “Considering YOLOing Entire ROTH IRA Balance Into GME – I Need Confirmation Bias, Dammit.”
GOLDSTEIN: Also, “If Papa Musk Is For Us Who Can Be Against Us? I’m Still Holding.”
HOROWITZ-GHAZI: One more – “Babe Will You Please Sell So We’re Millionaires? No. We Must Make Them Pay.”
*
HOROWITZ-GHAZI: And then, by the way, there’s the opposite of diamond hands for if you get scared and sell too soon.
IMPOSTER22: Poop emoji hands.
GOLDSTEIN: But in this post from January 5, Imposter22 is all diamond hands, rocket ship emoji, rocket ship emoji. Then there’s a screenshot showing the purchase from his brokerage account. And then there’s a “South Park” meme showing a guy who just got beat up.
*
GOLDSTEIN: The Tendie Men opened for Janet Yellen at the White House, but they got booed offstage.
*
HOROWITZ-GHAZI: Wednesday, the day Andrew Left put out that video, the day GameStop went to the moon was also the day we talked to Imposter22…
GOLDSTEIN: (Whispering) Diamond hands.
*
HOROWITZ-GHAZI: He says he’s considered getting a Tesla, but he’s not sure. A few years back, he lost $60,000 on Tesla options and hasn’t quite gotten over that yet.
(SOUNDBITE OF ALESSANDRO RIZZO AND ELLIOT GREENWAY IRELAND’S “C310037”)
*
GOLDSTEIN: I’m Jacob Goldstein. This is NPR, rocket ship emoji. That’s not going to work. This is NPR. Thanks for listening.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, “THE TENDIEMAN”)
WILSON: (Singing) Before the news had hit the market, wallstreetbets came up and bought it. With diamond hands, they knew they’d profit if they could only hold. Soon may the tendieman come to send a rocket into the sun. One day, when the trading is done, we’ll take our gains and go.
*
Thank you, universe.
