As my colleague shared yesterday, we’re changing some things up, with the most important of those changes being that you’re about to hear about both Joe Kelly and Burnley. In the same blog post! Wow.
Joe Kelly’s Health: Good!
Called out by Ashley Kelly’s Instagram story, the media haters have done an about-face, admitting this morning that our guy will be good to go by spring training. The issue was evidently one involving the musculocutaneous nerve (Joe Kelly may have nerves of steel, but his literal nerves are evidently not quite as durable), and the feared case didn’t materialize.
“If I was making a medical call for the Dodgers on him, if that was in the cards, I wouldn’t hesitate to advise the front office that he would be back for the first day of spring training,” (Dodgers’ head physician Dr. Neal) ElAttrache said Friday.
Thanks, Doctor Neal. For all that you do.
Can Burnley Burn?
The Burnleys visit defending Champions League champions and current EPL leaders Chelsea in a little bit here. Big underdogs. The lads cut their relegation probability on FiveThirtyEight down to 33% last week, and I don’t imagine that rising with a loss, but it’d still be fun to find a way to steal a point, and goal difference could matter at the end of the year, so keeping it close is a priority.
Captain Brady
The Senators (who lost Thursday night, but we won’t dwell on that) named Brady Tkachuk captain yesterday after the position lay vacant for three years. The guys seem excited. They’ll host the Lightning this afternoon. Defending champs all around for our guys abroad.
Steve Sarkisian Commented on Pole Assassin
More accurately, he commented on the monkey:
Horns are in Ames today. Unclear if Gia will be making the trip.
The Funniest Thing That Could Happen Today
This is a college football header. Plenty funnier things could happen today than the scenario I’m about to describe.
I think—and I am very sorry to some of you for this, because I don’t mind Nebraska—that the most comedic thing the college football fates could give to us would be Nebraska coming very, very close to beating Ohio State and then not doing it. In terms of single-game comedy, that’s my best hope for us all. Especially if there are then a ton of upsets and we all have to groan and look at Ohio State looking all playoff-likely at the end of the day.
NASCAR’s Championship at Phoenix
NASCAR’s Championship race is Sunday afternoon in Phoenix. Best finisher of Chase Elliott, Denny Hamlin, Kyle Larson, and Martin Truex Jr. takes home the title. Hamlin’s in the spotlight, mostly because he’s been the most clear about really wanting this. Also chirped Chase Elliott fans. Also also, small chance I don’t understand the format and it’s more complicated than first-finisher-wins, but I’m pretty sure it’s first-finisher-wins.
F1’s in Mexico
Mexico City, also tomorrow afternoon. Does Phoenix have good tacos? Could I say something about taco wars or would that be really effing stupid of me?
NIT Champion Reunion
Shaka Smart saw Jericho Sims last night in Milwaukee:
Gonna need a moment.
Milk Towers
Please don’t dismiss this idea until you’ve considered it for at least four days.
