Montgomery Used to Be Called New Philadelphia, so Here’s Some Advice for UAB and Jacksonville State

There’s a college football game tonight in Montgomery between two of the Deep South’s premier programs:

UAB and Jacksonville State.

Don’t laugh. Jerk. UAB’s pretty good in Conference USA. Jacksonville State’s pretty good at the FCS level. Also it’s Blazers vs. Gamecocks both of which crush it on the originality front.

Anyway, Montgomery was originally called New Philadelphia, so a few words of advice for the visitors to Montgomery this evening:

• Do NOT give anyone a light-up bracelet in memory of someone who just died of cancer.
• Clear the area if a guy nearby’s getting kicked out.
• Make sure to not award Adam Eaton a World Series ring before the game.
• And, of course, beef up your security around anything resembling a penalty box.

Man. Philadelphia’s the best.