There are moments in the life of a puppy when that puppy is running. Depending on how fast that puppy is, and how fast you are, those moments may render you helpless.
My puppy is rather fast.
I am rather slow.
When Your Puppy Forgets She’s on a Leash and a Big Dog Barks at Her
If your dog’s in a harness, this might not be too terrible.
Fargo was wearing a normal collar.
Time did slow down.
But not by enough.
She hit the end of the leash.
She yelped, stunned.
She was immediately, somehow, completely fine.
When Your Puppy Becomes Comfortable with the Sidewalk
Maybe your screen door doesn’t latch.
Maybe the insulation strip on the bottom of your door became detached during the recent winter storm when you stacked various things against it to do the job it was supposed to do, which was keeping your living room at some temperature vaguely resembling the temperature of the rest of the house—a job it is not doing.
Maybe to close the door, you need to open the screen door to push the insulation strip outside and out of the way.
Maybe your puppy experienced the front yard for the first time this day, and maybe when they start pushing on the screen door, you become afraid they will go explore, and when you go to close the big door—opening the screen door as you do, to push the insulation strip outside and out of the way—your puppy will make a break for…who knows where. Certainly not her.
If you run, she will think you are chasing her.
If you don’t run, you don’t know what will happen.
Pray you have treats nearby and a dog who kind of knows her name.
When Your Puppy Has a Thing-That-Will-Kill-Her in Her Mouth But IT’S ZOOM TIME, BABY!
Does your puppy zoom?
Does your yard have too many things-that-will-kill-your-puppy for you to remove them all?
It will not be long before Fargo, crabapple in tow, is doing laps around the yard, pausing intermittently to chomp on the little berry, and you are calculating ways to get that thing out of her mouth like the crabapple’s Private Ryan and your puppy’s mouth is controlled by Axis forces (I’ve never seen this movie, so apologies if I messed up the reference).
When Your Puppy Steals Your Shoe and You Have No Other Shoes Handy
Say that your puppy was sick.
Say that your puppy was sick enough that you were advised to have your home sanitized.
Say that you have a rug and only one piece of floor space large enough for that rug and that said piece of floor space is in the living room, which is where your puppy hangs out when your puppy is indoors and not crated.
You will do the sensible thing.
You will cram the rug into the kitchen, and when your dog barks ambiguously and you go to take her outside, you will forget that your sandals are at the front door, not the back door. You will go outside barefoot. You will set your puppy down, give her a treat when she relieves herself, remember that you have clean socks in the dryer (which is in the kitchen), and go grab those clean socks while also grabbing a pair of shoes that is by the back door.
However.
You will need to put these shoes on.
And your dog has been trying to eat enough things-that-could-kill-her that you aren’t letting her out of your sight longer than is necessary.
You will step outside.
You will sit on the back stoop.
You will set one shoe down.
Your puppy will take that shoe all the way across the yard.
You will feel like your puppy is laughing at you.
Possibly because she is.
