Hey! More license plates!
If you missed what’s going on here, we made a terrible mistake, and we’re working to correct it. Our goal? Make sure we know what the standard license plate looks like in each of the 50 states. What will we do with this privileged information? Rank the plates. We’re going to rank the plates. And then we’re going to put them in a bracket and all of our friends (that includes you) are going to vote on them. Ugh this is going to be so fun.
We went through the Western plates on Wednesday. It was lit. Today, we’re exploring the Midwest, defined accurately as the Great Plains states, the non-Northeastern Great Lakes states, and Missouri. Quarrel with that definition? Nobody wants to visit Ohio or Michigan, you loser. You are from a dumb state that lacks the self-awareness to drag itself publicly.
Alright. Plates! Image credits are at the bottom.
North Dakota
No changes here, and that’s good, because this plate—like its state—rocks.
South Dakota
Nothing new here either. Mount Rushmore still stands, and I am going to move on before I remember whatever that stupid controversy was about it two years ago.
Nebraska
Holy butts, we’ve got a new one. As of May 31st. Wow!
So, this isn’t going to be on roads yet, but it’s on its way and that’s enough for us to deem it the primary state license plate. The Sower is gone (alas, I think I liked The Sower better), and here in its place is a mosaic from the floor of the State Capitol titled, “Genius of Creative Energy.” (It’s important here that we note that Nebraska’s State Capitol is known as the most phallic in the country, despite admirable efforts from North Dakota to dethrone it.) Does this license plate suck? Oh boy, yeah it does. But hey, that’s what we’re here to celebrate. We didn’t say the plates had to be good.
Kansas
No big change here. Kansas is climbing up the rankings, though. By which I mean this is way better than Nebraska’s.
Missouri
No change here, which is great, because it means Missouri continues to celebrate its bicentennial a year after said bicentennial after beginning to celebrate it three years before said bicentennial.
Iowa
No changes here yet. Probably going to be a while before the next crack at it.
Minnesota
Nothing new in Minnesota. Credit to the Midwest for (so far) being very straightforward about this all.
Wisconsin
Wisconsin’s license plate is unchanged, and may the same be true forever.
Illinois
Do we want Illinois’s state government working on redesigning this guy? On the one hand, they have bigger things to deal with. On the other, they’re always only making the bigger things worse.
Indiana
No recent changes here. This guy’s about five years old now.
Michigan
Sorry, Danny, but the Mackinac one is an alternate plate. I wish it wasn’t as well, but this is the world in which we live.
Ohio
Credit to Ohio for trying (I like this one more than most do, as you will see in my rankings on…Monday, hopefully).
**
That’s all for today. Tentatively planning to do the rest of the country over the weekend, but who knows. Visit our homepage one hundred times each to find out. We could use the pageviews.
**
Image Credits
- North Dakota: North Dakota Department of Transportation
- South Dakota: Wikipedia user Zcarstvnz (link to license)
- Nebraska: Office of Governor Pete Ricketts, part of the Chicago Cubs’ ownership group known for its dishonesty towards fans regarding team finances
- Kansas: Wikipedia user Stowellg (link to license)
- Missouri: Wikipedia user Zcarstvnz (link to license)
- Iowa: Corb Moister, Norwich, Vermont (link to license)
- Minnesota: Wikipedia user Drake317 (link to license)
- Wisconsin: Wikipedia user Jtplates (link to license)
- Illinois: Wikipedia user Zcarstvnz (link to license)
- Indiana: Wikipedia user Rhatsa26X (link to license)
- Michigan: Wikipedia user Jtplates (link to license)
- Ohio: Unknown but I think it came from the office of Governor Mike DeWine
