Well, Ryan Day’s a national champion. This is useful, because for a long time there, I had to go back through every national championship matchup in the last twenty years and remember them all in my head. All of that, just to be sure Day hadn’t won one when I wasn’t looking. Now? He won it! And I’m growing to like the guy.
To be clear, I still think Ohio State should fire Ryan Day, as I reiterated last night on The Internet, a network of computers and other electronic devices upon which humans communicate through the rapid exchange of wired and wireless signals. If Ohio State doesn’t fire Ryan Day, I will be forced to conclude that they do not care about beating Michigan and only care about winning national championships. I’m sorry. Is this Ohio State? Or the Alabama Crimson Tide?
That said, yes. I’m starting to like Ryan Day. Here’s why.
First, Ryan Day came kind of close to blowing a 24-point lead last night. Ohio State started turtling in a game where they were faster and stronger than their opponents and were executing well. Ohio State took its foot off the gas, and Notre Dame got back in it. If Notre Dame hadn’t made itself rush that field goal, Ohio State would have only led by six when Will Howard took the snap on third-and-long, that third-and-long where Jeremiah Smith reminded everyone Jeremiah Smith should be the Heisman favorite for next year, because Jeremiah Smith is stupendously agile and fast, and he is also quite large, and he is also quite strong, and I am not entirely convinced Jeremiah Smith is a human being.
Yes, Ryan Day came kind of close to blowing a 24-point lead last night in the game formerly known as the BCS National Championship, and as I imagine that playing out and the accompanying reaction, Ryan Day becomes so human in my eyes that my corneas crack like fragile ice upon the sea. Salty water fills my vision. I imagine myself rushing to Ryan Day’s side, cradling his childlike frame in my arms.
You can’t dislike a guy whose childlike frame you cradle in your arms.
Second, now that Ryan Day’s a winner, his sensitivity to the outside noise is relatable, not the mark of a loser. When he was a loser? Back then, it was the mark of a loser. But now?
I want to be clear about something here. When I use the phrase “outside noise,” I’m not referring to the Ohio State fans who regularly threaten to kill Ryan Day, his wife, and his children. I don’t really think of that as “outside noise.” I think of that as “death threats.” By “outside noise,” I am mostly referring to Lou Holtz, who has never threatened Ryan Day’s life but does like to tease the guy.
Now that Ryan Day has vanquished Lou Holtz, I think we can all concede: We would have behaved the exact same way if a 90-year-old man identified our greatest personal insecurity and teased us for it on cable television. Can you imagine how hard that would be? If Lou Holtz went on ESPN and made fun of the inconsistent, amateurish content schedule of my would-be professional NIT blog, my face would stay red for weeks. The second I pumped out 23 blog posts in five days, publishing each before 7 AM to capture the Morning Dump Reading market? You bet your ass Lou Holtz would hear about it. I’d be crying as I told him, too. I would say, I wanna see Lou Holtz right now, and my voice would crack. He’d probably laugh at me for that, too. He’d call me a Sally and say, Thatsh alright, kiddo. God lovsh ya. But I bet yer momma don’t.
Third, I read that Bruce Feldman article for the New York Times this morning, and holy shit. I had no idea. If you’re stuck outside the paywall (supporters of a free press my ass), yesterday was the 37th anniversary of Ryan Day’s father dying by suicide. Ryan Day was nine years old when his dad died. That’s one of the worst things I can imagine happening to a child. That’s like a kid having AIDS. That’s the kind of thing that will make a blogger say aloud, Oh. Fuck. I had no idea. I really wish I hadn’t made fun of him all these years. And then you add in that Ryan Day has probably heard thousands of Ohio State fans and others telling him to kill himself? Holy crap. That poor guy.
Some things are so bad that no matter how much a guy’s career’s tied to Urban Meyer, you want to treat him like a person. Hand up. I have occasionally not treated Ryan Day like a person. I am sorry. He’s not even that short.
