Ok, so to fill in anyone in need of filling in (good God, I need to spend less time on Twitter, I sincerely hope all of you need filling in), yesterday, Kyle Farnsworth tweeted the following:
This was conspicuous because yesterday, Baltimore Oriole/recent cancer survivor Trey Mancini was out due to…general soreness:
Not a great look.
Today, Farnsworth tried to thread the spin zone needle. It didn’t go so well:
I mean, yeah, you shouldn’t criticize cancer survivors for being sore, and there’s reason to believe baseball players generally shouldn’t play through a certain level of soreness because, well, they aren’t as good when they do that. I don’t want my brain surgeon’s fingers cramping up when they’ve popped the hood on my noggin. I don’t want my left fielder’s oblique throbbing in the bottom of the eighth.
But if you’re going to do it, double down, man.
If you’re trying to place Kyle Farnsworth in your memories, he’s the guy who did this:
Had he not done this, I’m not sure I would remember him. His greatest hit was a literal hit, but an unconventional one in the game of baseball. It was awesome. His persona since then has been continuing to be that guy: The guy who believes fighting is the solution to all of our problems. But sometimes there are cracks in the armor. Sometimes he gets political. Sometimes he walks things back. Neither of these are great things for Kyle Farnsworth to do.
Kyle Farnsworth needs to stick to his guns.
I don’t want a Kyle Farnsworth who says, “Sitting out with general soreness is bad unless you’ve just survived cancer.” I want a Kyle Farnsworth mad enough to say, “I don’t care if you had your leg cut off by the mafia last night because of debts you owed to Satan, I want you in that lineup, wimp.” I want a Kyle Farnsworth who tries to crumple up rental cars like cans of soda. I want a Kyle Farnsworth who never contacts Paul Wilson but does leave little clues outside Wilson’s house that imply he’s still watching him. Deer trails through the woods that are much too big to’ve been made by a deer, for example. Kyle Farnsworth shouldn’t be listening to right-wing radio. Kyle Farnsworth should be wrestling bears in Alaska. Kyle Farnsworth shouldn’t be walking back tweets. When Kyle Farnsworth tweets, it should be decisive, void of sympathy, and outrageous enough to remind us that this is a man who did a WWE thing but in the real world.
Don’t walk things back, Kyle Farnsworth.
Go fight a bear.
