Brad Keselowski wants to talk to you about outer space, and who am I to stop Brad Keselowski from talking to you about outer space? Thread:
I like this for Brad Keselowski. The man knows how to move racecars with the air next to his racecar. The man has a property value-raising family. The man is a great foil to Joey Logano. There’s no way Joey Logano cares about the future of humanity. Joey Logano only cares about the future of evil. Brad Keselowski? Future astronaut. Self-engineered, of course. Will probably win us a Space War one day.
Anyway they’re doing the racing things again this weekend. Here are those racing things:
Friday
Nothing. Watch baseball. Call your aunt. She’d appreciate the gesture.
Wait whoops check that there’s a truck race:
NASCAR Truck Series: Rackley Roofing 200
Where: Nashville Superspeedway (mile and a third, not sure how exciting it is, feel like people are expecting it to not be exciting but I may have just caught NASCAR Twitter on a grumpy day when this was announced, or hey, maybe I’m just misremembering)
When: 8:00 PM EDT
Broadcast: FS1
No preview beyond this, we’ll mention the outcome in the Cup Series preview Sunday.
Saturday
NASCAR Xfinity Series: Tennessee Lottery 250 (awesome sponsor every Xfinity Series race should be sponsored by a local lottery)
Where: Nashville Superspeedway (feel like NASCAR needs to crack down on aggressive uses of the word “superspeedway” but that’s just me)
When: 3:30 PM EDT
Broadcast: NBCSN (aw man we’re into the NBC part of the season this stinks)
SRX: Knoxville (Knoxville, Iowa—isn’t that a twist?)
Where: Spoiled this, but it’s in Iowa. A town called Knoxville in Iowa. It’s the Sprint Car Capital of the World. Big deal in dirt track racing. I assumed it was in Tennessee, but look, we’re all learning. Near Pella, if you know Iowa, and if you don’t know Iowa I’m guessing you don’t care where in Iowa it is.
When: 8:00 PM EDT
Broadcast: CBS
We’ll recap the SRX race in the IndyCar preview, because, well, the IndyCar preview’s usually the shortest and I feel like SRX goes better with IndyCar than any of the other series we cover—catering to big racing fans in general and all that.
Sunday
Formula 1: Grand Prix de France
Where: France (Duh)
Where in France, though: Circuit de Paul Ricard. Not sure who Paul Ricard was. Paul Simon wannabe? Probably. Wearing a beret and eating a croissant and saying “hau hau” and smelling like rat butt. It’s near Marseilles, which is in The South of France (obviously F1 is in The South of France) and ok I looked up Paul Ricard and he was a “pastis magnate” and I looked up pastis and it’s some dumb French spirit. Goodness, F1. Tone it down. You’re getting popular in America now.
When: 9:00 AM EDT
Broadcast: ESPN
IndyCar: Rev Group Grand Prix (ah, yes—the Rev Group Grand Prix)
Where: Road America (between Milwaukee and Green Bay)
When: 12:00 PM EDT
Broadcast: NBCSN
NASCAR Cup Series: Ally 400 (the bank, I’m assuming—guessing this isn’t about Pride)
Where: Nashville Superspeedway (NOT A SUPERSPEEDWAY AND THIS BETTER NOT STINK YOU GUYS)
When: 3:30 PM EDT
Broadcast: NBCSN
Ok, we survived. Sorry. Got a little riled up there at the end. Previews for these Sunday morning. Recaps probably Monday morning but we’ll see what the world has in store for us.
