When my friend sent me a five-minute PBS clip earlier today of his former meteorology professor, Jonathan Martin (no, said friend is not a meteorologist, said friend does something involving computers and I know I’m sorry I know that sounds like a thing my grandma would say but the guy’s selling physical computers or something in that general arena, I’m not just saying, “My friend has a job that involves email!” although that is also true), I said to myself, “Wow, he wasn’t kidding, that’s a great accent,” and I then said, “Jonathan Martin? That sounds familiar.”
It turns out there are four prominent Jonathans Martin out there. One is this guy. One writes for the New York Times. Then there are the two Wikipedia shows you when you google the name ‘Jonathan Martin’:
- Jonathan Martin (American football)
- Jonathan Martin (arsonist)
Hell of a pair.
We of course clicked on the arsonist.
I wish there was a second Ted Kaczynski out there so we could have a similar phenomenon with him. Something like:
- Ted Kaczynski (strip club magnate)
- Ted Kaczynski (Unabomber)
On that topic, I had a great Ted Kaczynski joke cued up recently, when I needed to ask a guy I don’t really know for his mailing address on a group text so I could send him a package. I was hoping to ask him for the address, say I needed to send him a package, and when asked who I was say, “Ted Kaczynski” even though I’m mailing him a trophy, not a bomb. Instead, I blew my identity a little earlier in order to chirp a guy I do know about something disgusting involving raccoons. There’s a lesson in here about the time value of money, I’m convinced.
Back to the arson, though.
Get a load of this poor man’s Wikipedia page:
Jonathan Martin (arsonist)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jonathan Martin (1782 – 3 June 1838) was an English arsonist, famous for setting fire to York Minster in 1829.
Early Life
Martin was born at Highside House, near Hexham in Northumberland, one of the twelve children of William Fenwick Martin and Isabella, née Thompson. Among his siblings was the artist John Martin and the philosopher William Martin. Jonathan was tongue tied and spoke with an impediment. He was brought up by his aunt, Ann Thompson, a staunch Protestant with a vivid image of hell.
After he witnessed the murder of his sister by a neighbour, he was sent to his uncle’s farm to recover from the shock. He was apprenticed to a tanner but was press ganged in London in 1804. He served in the Royal Navy ship HMS Hercule for six years, including the Battle of Copenhagen in 1807. He was noted among his shipmates for his religious obsession.
He left the Navy when his ship was broken up in 1810, returning to Norton, County Durham, where he married, and his son Richard was born in 1814. After his parents died, he became a Wesleyan preacher in 1814, strongly denouncing the Church of England. He gained a reputation for disrupting church services.
After threatening to shoot the Bishop of Oxford, Edward Legge at a confirmation service in Stockton in 1817, he was arrested, tried, and was sent to a private lunatic asylum in West Auckland. He was later moved to the public asylum in Gateshead. He escaped in June 1820, but was soon recaptured.
His wife died of breast cancer in 1821, and he escaped from the asylum for a second time, returning to work as a tanner and preacher. The Wesleyan Church refused to take him back, and he was turned away by the Primitive Methodists. He published his autobiography at Lincoln in 1826, with further editions published in 1828, 1829 and 1830, and he made a living by selling his book.
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We’ll pause right here.
This guy had a hard life. His tongue had an oversized frenulum. His aunt was obsessed with Hell. His sister was murdered by a neighbor. HIS SISTER WAS MURDERED BY A NEIGHBOR. He got drafted into the navy, fought in the Napoleonic Wars, and then…well yeah, of course he went a little mad. Poor guy had been through something about as bad as that Hell his aunt was talking about. Again, though, back to the arson:
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Arson
He remarried in Boston, Lincolnshire in 1828, to Maria Hudson, and the couple moved to York.
A year later, Martin had another mental breakdown. On Sunday 1 February 1829, he became upset by a buzzing sound in the organ while attending evensong at York Minster. He hid in the building, and then lit a lamp in the belltower. The cathedral watchman had been discharged, and the light was ignored by anyone who saw it. Later that night, he set fire to the woodwork in the choir before escaping through a window. Smoke was seen coming out of the building at 7am on 2 February, and the fire was raging through the organ and choir by 8am. The fire was brought under control that afternoon and extinguished on 3 February, when the extent of the damage became apparent. A section of the roof of the central aisle approximately 131 foot (40 m) long was destroyed, stretching from the lantern tower towards the east window, together with much of the internal woodwork from the organ screen to the altar screen, including the organ, medieval choir stalls, the bishop’s throne, and the pulpit. The cause – arson – soon became apparent, and the culprit was identified from threatening placards Martin had left on the Minster railings in previous days, including his initials and address.
Martin was captured near Hexham on 6 February. He was tried at York Castle in March 1829, before Baron Hullock and a jury. The case was a national cause célèbre, coming only two months after the trials of Burke and Hare in Edinburgh. Martin was defended by Henry Brougham, who had gained notoriety for defending Queen Caroline in 1821. Despite the jury ruling that he was guilty on a capital charge, which should have resulted in a death sentence, the judge declared him not guilty on the grounds of insanity. He was detained in Bethlem Royal Hospital, where he remained until he died 9 years later. During this period of detention, he made a number of drawings, including self-portraits and an apocalyptic picture of the destruction of London. His son, Richard, from his first marriage, was brought up by Jonathan’s brother John. Richard committed suicide in September 1838, three months after his father’s death.
Professor Herschel Prins has described Martin as “probably the most well-known example of a manic depressive arsonist”.
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Ok, that’s it. We republished a whole Wikipedia article. Whatever, it’s free. But, uh, guys. Come on. You waited until the finale to drop the, “Hey, this guy probably had bipolar disorder,” line? Maybe lead with that. Maybe say, “Hey everyone, yes, Jonathan Martin was an arsonist, but he was a lot of other things too, and also he had a really hard life. Maybe cut him some slack for the arson thing.”
Also, wish they’d included the apocalyptic picture of the destruction of London in the article. That sounds pretty cool, and it’s hard to find a picture with very good resolution. Here’s one with bad resolution.
Also also, does York have a footie team? I feel like York’s gotta be a pretty big town, since its name pops up everywhere, like Pennsylvania and in this Wikipedia article. Do they have a team and does it just stink? Or are they one of those towns that used to be big and isn’t anymore, like Bangor or hopefully Newcastle sometime soon? I await answers on all matters mentioned heretofore.
