Joe Kelly Was Left Off the MLB Top 100 and It’s Not Okay

I anticipated the haters.

I was ready for Joe Kelly to be disrespected.

I even publicly posted about the matter, asking for a reminder to write this post.

Hey I haven’t seen the MLB Top 100 players thing but can someone remind me tomorrow to write a scathing rebuke since they only ranked Joe Kelly third?

— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) February 14, 2020

Then, I opened the actual MLB Top 100 thing they’ve been doing on The MLB Station™ or whatever the channel’s called.

I scrolled.

No surprise on the first two, though I’d like to know whether the Brewers are going to keep stealing signs this year before expecting big things again out of Yelich.

But then…

Huh. Thought Joe Kelly would be here.

*scrolling*

Hmm…

*eye roll*

*casual shrug, bobbing the head a little in acknowledgment*

Ok what in the good green earth is going on here.

It went on like this.

At some point, I stopped scrolling and did a lil old Ctrl-F. Did they use the name Joseph? Did they have a typo? Finally, I had to scroll again, and after reading the whole thing, I can confirm:

Those hacks left Joe Kelly off the board.

Now, this is obviously infuriating, but it’s better than him being, say, 89^th. Nobody wants to be 89^th (actually, Mitch Garver was 89^th, and he was probably thrilled to be 89^th, but that’s beside the point). At least they didn’t disrespect Joe Kelly in that particular way. But they still disrespected him, and it’s not alright. How do you leave off a guy who throws that hard? How do you leave off a guy capable of producing that great of hair? How do you leave off a guy who won the last World Series not won in a year in which we found out the winners from two years prior were cheating?

It’s outrageous, in the sense that it provokes outrage, and The MLB Channel™ is not gaining any viewers with this filth. I gave them their click (I actually gave them three, since I accidentally forward-clicked to another article, then back-clicked, then switched to my computer so I could take the screenshots for this article). They got their reward. But I’ll get mine. When August rolls around, and Joe Kelly has a negative ERA and has hit 107 mph on the radar gun with routine ease, I will be the one laughing. Oh, you thought it was funny to leave the greatest pitcher in a generation off your little list, Rob Manfred? Hope you like insults. Because you’re gonna get ‘em.