With Joe Kelly defeating the Tampa Bay Rays last night to win his second World Series, a few facts:
- Over the last three years, only one team has won a World Series without Joe Kelly on its roster.
- That team had to go through Joe Kelly to do it.
- Joe Kelly was battling a leg ailment when he came out for that second inning against the Joe Kelly-less team.
- Joe Kelly has now won a World Series for a team on the coast of two of the world’s five oceans.
- Joe Kelly has now won a World Series for a royal blue team and a navy blue team.
- Joe Kelly throws hard.
- Joe Kelly is handsome.
- Joe Kelly has a nasty curveball.
- In each season in which Joe Kelly has been suspended, he has gone on to win the World Series.
- If Joe Kelly catches the coronavirus because of the handling of Justin Turner, I am going to be upset.
- If you account for the fact that Michael Jordan had Scottie Pippen, Joe Kelly has now won only one fewer ring than Michael Jordan.
- If you account for the fact that World War I only had losers, and not winners, Joe Kelly has now won more World Series than America has won World Wars.
- If you account for the fact that the Yankees are kind of buttholes, but you don’t change your count based on that, Joe Kelly has now won as many World Series this millennium as the Yankees.
- Joe Kelly is the first player to win a World Series following a 60-game regular season.
- Joe Kelly is the first player to win a World Series by way of a 16-team playoff format.
- Joe Kelly waved to me one time.
- Joe Kelly throws hard.
Congratulations, Joe Kelly Nation. Always a champion in our hearts, our guy is now a champion again on the field. Enjoy it, friends. Soak it in. We’ve got some time before 2021.
