A brief history of the Seattle Mariners:
- In 16 of their first 18 seasons, they posted losing records. This continued across eleven different managers.
- In 1995, having reached adulthood, the Mariners finally made the playoffs, beating the Yankees in the ALDS. Players on that team included: Ken Griffey Jr., Randy Johnson, Edgar Martínez, Tino Martinez, Jay Buhner, Joey Cora, and a young Alex Rodriguez.
- From 1996 through 2000, the Mariners were sometimes ok and sometimes pretty good. After 2000, A-Rod signed with the Texas Rangers, and the Ichiro-led Mariners promptly turned in the best season in baseball history, one which ended depressingly in an ALCS loss to the Yankees. This is why people say Seattle has an issue with depression. This is what they mean when they say winter in Seattle is miserable.
- Following that 2001 season, the Mariners posted two straight 93-win seasons, but they didn’t make the playoffs.
- The Mariners continued to not make the playoffs all the way until 2022, when they got in thanks to the 2012 edition of MLB playoff expansion. They reached the Division Series, where they were swept by the Astros in horrifically painful fashion, with Game 1 decided by a two-out walk-off Yordan Álvarez blast and Game 3 a 1–0 affair which lasted 18 innings.
- Chastened by their experience, the Mariners missed the playoffs in 2023. Held off. Didn’t want that hurt again. After last night, they’re going to miss this year’s playoffs too. Things started well, but then the slumps flared up, and last night, Joe Kelly brought out that gun they use on horses. The one with the collar or shell or whatever you call it. The one that looks like a brass instrument, so the bullet won’t ricochet off the horse’s skull? I’m sorry to be so graphic. That gun. Joe Kelly brought out that gun. Joe Kelly put the Mariners out of their misery.
We wrote yesterday how Joe Kelly is good, and how Dodgers fans criticizing him are illiterate, innumerate fools whom ancient societies would have conscripted to row boats to nowhere. How did Dodgers fans respond? I’m not sure. Not a lot of Dodgers fans read our Joe Kelly posts, to be honest. Most of our Joe Kelly readers are Cardinals, Angels, Red Sox, or Cubs fans (we have a lot of Cubs fans who read this blog). But after last night’s outing, we did receive reports of contrition from Los Angeles County, of Dodger fans saying, Ahh, that’s right. Joe Kelly rules.
What happened?
This!
The leadup…
- The Mariners led 3–2 entering the bottom of the seventh. Walker Buehler had scuffled, but he escaped allowing only the three runs. The bullpen went on a roll over the innings which followed.
- In the bottom of the seventh, Mookie Betts drove in Tommy Edman to even the score. Accordingly, Joe Kelly rose in the bullpen. Mariners fans entered their padded rooms. They knew what came next.
- Randy Arozarena: Flyout.
- Jorge Polanco: Four-pitch walk. (Polanco’d been having a good day.)
At this point, Dylan Moore pinch ran for Polanco, with the implication being the Mariners were going to try to steal second base on Joe Kelly and Will Smith.
This set up the most dramatic at-bat of Mitch Haniger’s lifetime.
- Joe Kelly started Haniger with a tailing fastball on the outside corner. Strike one. All calm. All bright.
- Joe Kelly continued the at-bat with a fastball that looked like it caught the bottom edge of the zone. C.B. Bucknor disagreed. Ball one. Moore still looking for an opportunity over at first.
- On the third pitch, Bucknor seemed to repent from his previous call, giving Joe Kelly a wide curveball. Haniger checked his swing, and maybe he went around, but Bucknor didn’t indicate the swing was the reason for the call. One ball. Two strikes.
- Before the fourth pitch, Joe Kelly threw over to first, but Moore got back safely. Then, Kelly spiked a curveball that bounced out of Smith’s mitt. I don’t know if the mitt contact is what led Moore back to first, but the baserunner did not attempt to take second. This became important, as you have seen in that video above.
- On the fifth pitch, Joe Kelly struck Mitch Haniger out. Or so it appeared. Bucknor again disagreed, though this pitch was even higher than the second. Full count. Dave Roberts asked for clarification from the dugout, wondering if the pitch was outside. It wasn’t. It may have been low. That was Bucknor’s claim. We’ll leave it to history to decide.
- Before the sixth pitch, Joe Kelly picked off Dylan Moore. Or so it appeared. Jeremy Riggs called Moore safe, and after a lengthy replay review, umpires locked in a room in New York couldn’t find indisputable evidence proving Riggs wrong.
- During the replay review, Joe Kelly tossed a few warmup pitches, staying loose. Tensions were high. The Dodgers didn’t yet know that the game would eventually effectively end on another surprising replay review, this one in their favor after Leo Rivas made one of the dumbest baserunning mistakes of all time. But I digress. The review ruled Moore safe at first. Haniger’s at-bat continued, the count full and Moore clearly trying to run, hoping to get out ahead of the double play. Tensions, again, were high.
- On the seventh pitch…let’s watch that video again.
A disaster for the haters. A triumph for Joe Kelly. For the Mariners, a sad, sad return to the grave. Poor Seattle. Things going so badly, and then they get a glimmer of hope only to run smack dab into Joe Kelly. That’s almost as sad as the gun they use on horses.*
In the ensuing half-inning, Jason Heyward hit a three-run home run to put the Dodgers ahead for good. The Mariners looked like they were starting a rally in the ninth, but then Leo Rivas did the really dumb thing and the replay crew again lacked the courage to set it right.
*I went looking to see if this thing has a name. Google AI was not helpful.
