Ok, here’s what happened tonight between Joe Kelly and Fernando Tatís Jr.:
Joe Kelly struck him out.
Joe Kelly appeared to call him a “fucking bitch.”
There’s more to this story, and “more” in this case means that Joe Kelly also knocked Tatís down with two pitches that were very up and very in. The Dodgers’ gameplan tonight was clearly to pitch Tatís very up and very in, probably because they thought it would make him uncomfortable at the plate and less ready to pounce on pitches on the outer half. Some would say that the pitches upstairs were just baseball, and that Tatís needs to be ready for that and that’s why the Dodgers were challenging him there, but I got very angry last April about the Brewers repeatedly hitting Willson Contreras in the head, and in response I tweeted so many mean things about them (they might have stolen signs, they can’t sell tickets, when they do sell tickets the folks who buy them give a guy a standing ovation for having tweeted racist things in high school) that one of my good friends unfollowed me on Twitter. He’s back, we’re good, but I need a better explanation than “that’s just baseball.”
So.
Let’s say it’s ok if you don’t actually hit the guy?
I think I did say this, actually. I think we’re in the clear. Go up and in all you want. But if you start hitting a guy in the head, and then it keeps happening, figure something else out. Respect the risk you’re taking. And at the very least, don’t get mad when the other team gets mad at you for repeatedly hitting their guy in the head.
There we go.
I’m mad at Craig Counsell again.
I’m gonna call him a little weasel bitch face, but not in reality and only in my imagination as I fall asleep thinking of what would happen if I ever interviewed Craig Counsell or ran into him at a formal function.
Anyway, this was supposed to be about Joe Kelly emasculating Fernando Tatís Jr., so let’s get back to that.
I don’t know if it was because Tatís has history with the Dodgers or because Tatís has history with PEDs or because Tatís was a little dramatic with the knockdowns, dropping the bat and slapping his own helmet off and all that, but as a man who’s watched a whole lot of Joe Kelly over the years, I can confirm that Joe Kelly does not call every person he strikes out a “fucking bitch.” Some pitchers do! Not Joe Kelly, though. This seems personal. Developing situation.
