Joe Kelly blogger that I am, I’m well aware of the unifying impact a bench-clearing incident can have on a baseball team. The 2018 Red Sox came together when Joe Kelly beat up Tyler Austin. The 2020 Dodgers came together when Joe Kelly emasculated Carlos Correa. The 2004 Red Sox came together when Bronson Arroyo drilled A-Rod. The 2013 Red Sox came together when David Ortiz cussed out terrorists over the Fenway Park public address system.
To be fair, most of these examples come from Boston, a city built on unprovoked defiance, and the other is from Joe Kelly, a man who made his name in two baseball cultures built on disproportional pride. But the Red Sox are one of the teams we’re going to talk about, and they’re all good examples, right? You clear some benches, you win the World Series. Cause and effect seem clear to me. This is why Joe Kelly’s the greatest player in his generation, is paid more money than anyone else in the game, and has already been enshrined in Cooperstown despite still being an active player. Generally speaking, clearing the benches gives a team a spark.
It just might be too late this year.
There are three teams right now that are prominently fizzling, along with a fourth that did the fireworks thing and exploded immediately upon ascent. The Red Sox are struggling. The Padres are struggling. The Phillies briefly soared but have utterly combusted. The Mets accidentally reminded the universe that they are the Mets.
The temptation is there for each of these teams to start a fight. For the Red Sox, it might be with Tampa Bay or New York. For the Padres, it might be with Los Angeles. For the Mets, it would likely be with Steve Cohen’s decision to return to Twitter after being bullied off the platform by…was that a meme stock thing?
The problem is that it might be too late.
The ’04 Red Sox and the ’20 Dodgers were the only summer fighters in the crew, but each spat came before the trade deadline and the latter was within the first few weeks of the pandemic-shortened season (say what you will about Joe Kelly, but he wastes no time initiating conflict). The other two were in April. Clearly, I can’t think of other examples off the top of my head, but the fact two thirds of the baseball season happens prior to the end of July means statistically, I’m probably forgetting more examples from before this date than later. It’s late in the season, guys. There’s not a lot of time left.
Were I advising these teams, I would of course still try to convince each of the four to take a shot. I like it when there are fights in baseball. Is it childish? Maybe so. Is it fun? Yes. But were I advising these teams and I wanted them to win, I’d probably only tell the Mets to go for a scrum. And even that would probably be more like, “Hey guys, one of you should probably try to talk to the owner—he seems pretty old, so don’t try to fight him, but at least talk to the guy. Don’t just let him say all those things.”
But yeah, it’s just so late now for a good scrap to rally the cause. Would come off more as desperate than unintimidated. Now if teams playing well and in the same race wanted to fight…*drifts off to sleep dreaming of the Yankees’ jumbo package taking issue with Lance Lynn in a world that may or may not exist in which the Yankees play the White Sox again this regular season*
P.S. Was the Rays/Red Sox fight in 2008? That might be a good one. The Rays didn’t win that World Series, but that might be a good one. I should look that up.
