I feel like we understate the possibility that the sun is a divine entity. It’s gone out of vogue. But think about it: It gives us life (photosynthesis). It kills us (summer in Texas and even hotter places). People say they know how it works, but do they really? Do they really know what’s going on in that massive ball of fire one million times larger than the planet on which they live?
Anyway, if the sun really is divine, we’re in trouble.
Because Rob Manfred might be in league with the sun.
Major League Baseball, in an effort to…honestly I think the goal is better offense but there’s a lot going on so it’s hard to limit it to that, came out this week with a list of substances pitchers can’t put on baseballs. It’s a little funny, because these were already, by my understanding, banned by the rulebook, but hey—if you’re going to start enforcing the rules you haven’t been enforcing, probably better to tell everyone you’re going to enforce them than break the news by subjecting Trevor Bauer to a high-speed chase in the middle of the third inning at Petco Park (just kidding that would have been a way better method of introducing this new protocol to the world).
Sunscreen was on the list.
This has players a bit upset. Even a lot of hitters. There’s a thought that letting pitchers use a sunscreen and rosin mix is a happy compromise, one that ensures they can grip the baseball without giving them too much of a boost in spin rate (something that makes it much more difficult to hit a baseball). If a focus group was run on this (and at least one reportedly was), it seems, from what we’re hearing and seeing, that sunscreen and rosin would’ve made the cut as allowable while everything stickier than that got the boot.
There’s a lot to go on about here (I just flashed back to the ego of high school umpires and the realization that there would be some huge ump shows if someone had tried this in my playing days), but again, one of the biggest themes is that Rob Manfred, beholden to the sun, is trying to weed the sun’s nemesis out of the sport of baseball. Sunburn? Skin cancer? Getting rid of day games? All things to which this could lead (obviously, players are still allowed to wear sunscreen—they just have to be really careful about not getting it on the ball, I guess).
It’s too early in this development to figure out how Manfred’s other indiscretions could be the result of some perverse deal with a solar deity, but rest assured, it’s on the mind. We are, like Joe West and that tube of Coppertone Sport in the Busch Field bullpen, keeping an eye on it.
