The Indy 500 is just twelve days away, and we want to prepare you:
We’re going to talk a lot about the milk.
For those of you new to the Indy 500, the winner gets a big ol’ bottle of milk and usually straight-arms it, meaning they pour it all over their face and drink what they can as it rushes past. Like this:
Fun stuff.
Really fun stuff.
Anyway, the drivers are already making their choices in case they win, meaning the milk media cycle has officially begun. From Saturday:
Get ready, milk/IndyCar fans. This is our moment.
You are a cog in the milk industrial complex. This is disgraceful.