As of right now, I don’t think Joe Kelly has had the coronavirus, and rest assured, I’m doing all I can to keep it that way (editor’s note: within the law). But if he does get it, let me let you let me let you know: I will blame Rob Manfred.
Yes, with news coming out this weekend that, shockingly, things are going poorly with something run by Major League Baseball in the Manfred era—in this instance, coronavirus testing for players, which is taking so long to produce results that teams with moral compasses ranging from the I-think-they’re-good (the Nationals) to the they-are-terrible (the Astros) to the I-think-they’re-terrible-but-they-think-they’re-great (the Cardinals) are delaying the start of summer camp—I’m worried about Manfred’s ability to protect his most valuable asset: a certain right-handed flamethrower in Los Angeles.
Of course, this isn’t on Manfred alone.
That doesn’t matter to me.
Rob Manfred has been bad at his job to an extent that I am prepared to blame him for just about anything. Ratings? Of course. Marketing? Obviously. China’s military expansion in the South China Sea? That too.
I have not yet decided what Rob Manfred’s consequences will be if I learn Joe Kelly has, at any point, contracted the coronavirus, but rest assured, I’m going to make them as harsh as I mildly unreasonably can (editor’s note: within the law). Thankfully, our hero has the immune system of a yoga instructor with a Juice Plus+ sponsorship, but none of us are truly immune, which means Rob Manfred has absolutely no immunity from my potential wrath.
