If the collapse of that bridge in Pittsburgh today which injured ten people (thankfully none seriously) says anything, it says this:
I need to get my hands on a bridge.
First of all, bridges are so cool. I drove past one today that was spanning a creek behind this warehouse down by the toll road and I had to slow down and look at it because it was really cool. You’re offered the choice between looking at a ton of bridges or looking at a ton of pretty much anything else—you take the bridges, right? Wholesome, scenic, industrious…bridges are great.
Secondly, you can make them collapse at a moment’s notice if you want to make a point about infrastructure, and while I don’t have any points to make right now about infrastructure, I’m sure a bridge could help me make points about other things I do have points to make about, like how it’s weird that cars don’t come with pee holes and how Montreal trying to annex Buffalo would be confusing on at least three levels but probably wouldn’t start a war. Also, maybe I will one day have a point to make about infrastructure. Maybe I’ll be elected president, called to duty in a time of turmoil as the one person tolerable enough to enough people to dethrone a madman, and my presidency won’t be going very well, and I’ll go to Pittsburgh to talk about the one thing that has gone pretty well, and I’ll want a visualization of how we need to do more of that. Play the hits, you know? Would need a bridge for that. Would really need a bridge.
So, glad nobody got hurt. Sad for the bridge, it was probably cool (because, again, it was a bridge). Happy for Hot Dog Dam, which got its picture on CNN. Excited to see if they put a new bridge up. Really excited if they read this and give me the bridge, especially if they say something like, “Hey buddy, be careful with this, no taking it down when anyone’s on it like old Joe did.” That’d be a lark. But also, I’d listen. I don’t want to hurt anybody. I just want to make a point. Preferably using a bridge.
