I’m eating soup as I write this. I write a sentence, grab my spoon, fill my mouth with my mom’s tortilla black bean soup recipe and a hurried drink of water because I microwaved this thing too long, and I write another sentence.
I’ve been eating soup now for an undetermined amount of time. I don’t remember when the soup streak started. This is actually kind of helpful, because there have been many days during the soup streak in which I’ve neglected to eat soup. If I knew when it started, if I was saying—“I’ve been eating soup for 31 straight days,” these pauses would have ended the streak. Instead, I just tell myself the soup streak is ongoing. No one knows its beginning. Only God knows its end. The soup streak is always around me. I am eating soup.
Why am I eating soup? Well, guys, I’ve gained a lot of weight. Not the most weight anyone’s ever gained, but close to the most weight I’ve ever gained. Ironically, this has coincided with an accidental reduction in dairy in my diet as well. Not sure what’s going on there, but that’s the situation: Less dairy, more pounds. I have become flabby. My knees hurt sometimes. The pants I bought that didn’t fit but were the only size they had back when I was out of pants fit perfectly.
Basically, I’ve been all over the place. It’s a busy year. One thing has led to another dozen things, and those dozen things have led to a couple dozen pounds, a couple dozen pounds that society, my desire to be the hottest NIT blogger in Texas, and the shaming heart health tracker on the Fitbit someone gave me (I got the hint) tell me I should try to do without. I’m trying. I’m trying to do it with soup.
Is soup a way to lose weight? I’m not sure. It seems to work ok. On days when I eat soup, I tend to lose weight. Soup and exercise. That’s the move. That’s the soup streak. My logic is that since soup’s mostly liquid, it’ll fill up my belly without filling out my belly. I could do something more complicated, but complexity’s what’s gotten me to this place of husk. I could do something more expensive, but I drive rideshare, making me keenly aware of how much time in the car every Sweetgreen salad costs me. So, soup streak it is.
I’m not sure why I’m telling you all this. But then again, I tell you guys a lot of things. And Soup Streak™’s alliterative, which I think makes it a thing to blog about. Once you name something, you’re supposed to blog about it, right? Like babies on Instagram and the animals in the Bible? If we weren’t supposed to blog about birds, God wouldn’t have told Adam and Eve to name them. The same, I assume, is true of the Soup Streak™.
We soup on.
