Wow, what a day, I’m writing a blog post about Tom Brady! I didn’t think this would happen. I didn’t think I’d get this far. I feel like Truman Burbank stepping out of the dome we all live in and into the next world we all don’t live in.
Anyway, I have two thoughts, and they were too long for a tweet, and I needed two more blog post ideas for today, so there’s your inside baseball. Now…outside baseball? Is everything that isn’t inside baseball technically outside baseball? Or are there things that constitute, say, porch baseball, or dome baseball, or airplane baseball? Are airplanes inside or outside? I say neither, and both. They, like Truman Burbank, contain multitudes.
First thought:
Of course Tom Brady didn’t mention Belichick (thank you spell check I clearly don’t blog NFL things much) or Kraft or the Patriots. You don’t incriminate your co-conspirators. You want reporters sniffing around there again? No. You keep it quiet. You were Tom Brady, Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback. Nothing happened in New England. You repeat. Nothing happened.
Second thought:
There’s some grumpiness among old white dudes who write for dying newspapers about how long this dragged out, and I can sympathize with it, but at the end of the day it’s dumb and they’re wrong. For one thing, he’s the most successful quarterback ever. He can take a few days to make sure he’s sure. He doesn’t need to get pushed out onto stage by Adam “Assault.” Schefter. And if he wants to drag it out and get a lot of attention, he should do that. He’s earned that. You do that well at something, you can tell everyone to pay attention to you for a few days. Also, they don’t have to do it. They can choose not to. Tom Brady wasn’t calling up newsrooms with bomb threats if they didn’t cover his retirement process. Finally, the only other things going on in the world, so far as I can tell, are genocides and volcanic tsunamis and wars and a trucker convoy desecrating a war memorial and the Joe Rogan War™ and wow, those last three things included war I didn’t intend that we really do a lot of warring as a species, don’t we? But really, thank you Tom Brady. I don’t care about what you did on the football field, but I respect the effort to distract us from all the overseas catastrophe and on-this-side-of-the-sea nonsense.
Alright, those are my thoughts. Back to asking my neighbors if they watched the ending of Colorado State/Wyoming last night. Which is called…jeez. The Border War.
