Has Anyone Seen Bertie?

Back at it.

Whom:

Burnley at Newcastle United

What:

The third stop along Burnley’s 2020-21 Premier League campaign

Where:

Newcastle, more exactly known as Newcastle upon Tyne, a city known for having a funky bridge in its Wikipedia picture (another fun Wikipedia thing about Newcastle is that Wikipedia reminds you to not confuse it with Newcastle-under-Lyme, which seems like it cannot be real but is evidently entirely real)

When:

2:00 PM American Central Daylight Time

How to Watch:

Looks like it’s only streaming on Peacock here in the states.

What’s at Stake:

Through two matches, Burnley has zero Premier League points. Our beloved Clarets aren’t in the zone where they have to think about relegation yet, and it looks like Fulham and Sheffield United—the other pointless squads—aren’t favored to get a point today themselves, but you never want to be the last pointless team. In anything.

The Odds:

I’m seeing Newcastle around +150, Burnley around +190, and a draw around +220, so roughly a one-in-three chance Burnley gets a win, and slightly better than 60% odds the lads at least grab a point. Not bad on the road.

The Opponent:

Newcastle, not to be confused with Stu-Castle, which is going to be quite the Medieval Times competitor in a few years when The Barking Crow gets some angel investors. I don’t think they’re good, but I don’t think they’re bad. At that level where it’d be surprising if they got relegated but it would be very surprising if they made the Europa League. I think. I know nothing.

Transfer Window News:

Closes Monday, right? Sounds like Burnley’s already shut it.

Other News:

Tarkowski and Barnes are still healthy, but Lowton’s out, so the injured count’s at six. Woof.

Bertie News:

Just realized I haven’t seen Bertie since the Murder Hornet panic. Not good. Not good at all.

NIT fan. Joe Kelly expert. Milk drinker. Can be found on Twitter (@nit_stu) and Instagram (@nitstu32).
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