This is Fargo.
Fargo has something to say.
mmmmheeeelllLLLOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*stomping with glee, absolutely stomping with glee, exhaling loudly with anticipation of the pets and the scritches and the hand-holding that is about to commence as you, the most exciting being in the world, enter the lair of this sixty-pound puppy with love in her eyes*
i went to the vet yesterday.
ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER!
on sunday (that is what the english-speakers call it, we dogs call it “sunday”), i was alerted that there was a growth protruding from my right bottom eyelid.
DO NOT FRET! ALL IS WELL WITH THE FARGS! NO CONE OF SHAME NO CONE OF SHAME!
as i said, this led to me going to the veterinarian yesterday, and what a delightful place the veterinarian’s office is. you get attention. you get scritches. you used to get treats before treats made your belly hurt so bad that you couldn’t eat until four o’clock in the afternoon every day, and the veterinarian helped you figure that out! we love the veterinarian. Doctor G is the best.
as you might guess, when i strut into the veterinarian’s office, there is a commotion. part of this, i will admit, is me. i have been known to jump up and put my paws on the counter as i attempt to order my favorite medicines and perchance steal a business card. but part of it as well is the technicians who yell, “FARGO!!!!!!” which of course gets me all sorts of riled up. sorry, prescription dog food sales lady. your meeting with the staff will have to wait. there is a Fargo to be greeted, and if you would like, you can join in the greeting, because we will accept scritches and florps from anyone (except for cats—there was an office cat there, and reporters are unsure if i noticed but i certainly growled at something at that end of the room, let the record show).
it was during this greeting that i decided to try something. “what if,” i said to myself, “i hit myself really hard in the face with my tail a repeated number of times?”
some might say it was unintentional. some might believe i was just wiggling my butt and then i got turned around and then i discovered the person petting me was behind me, so i turned my head and shoulders back towards them and unfortunately also back into the path of my baseball bat of a tail.
THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT TELLING YOU THE TRUTH
what happened was that i have come up with a novel way of treating skin tags, and that is to whack them with your tail really freakin hard, and i wanted to show the medical professionals.
some might say that i am an innovator.
😊