Ok, credit to F1. They raced in the rain. Also…Man. It seems hard to win a Formula 1 race. Which makes Lewis Hamilton’s 100th so dang impressive. Watching Max Verstappen glide through the field was a good reminder of how difficult it is to compete at the Formula 1 level, and Mother Nature doing in Lando Norris’s bid for his first career win was similarly illustrative.
Looking at the season, Hamilton now leads Verstappen by two points, and in the constructor standings Mercedes has pulled 33 points clear of Red Bull. Far from insurmountable, but a good lead. Thrilling times with a trip to Turkey coming up in two weeks.
Going back to Norris: A lot of people love the guy. I like the guy. I’m skeptical, because I’m skeptical of everyone who hasn’t denounced the gate agent who called security on me in 2018 at the airport in Roanoke, but I like the guy. So, as a friend to Norris, I’ve called in the braintrust and we’ve pulled together a few suggestions for how he could have won the race:
Time Travel
No, no, I’m not saying Lando Norris should have gone back in time and convinced Lewis Hamilton to pursue ballet. What I’m saying is that Lando Norris should have time traveled forward and crossed the line ahead of Hamilton. Guessing F1 has no rule against that, so good luck slowing this strategy down, stewards.
Stop the Rain
The rain was the problem for Norris, so the most obvious solution is clearly to stop it from raining. Think about that next time, Lando.
Get a Faster Car
You’re an F1 driver. You make a lot of money. Presumably you can find a car whose speedometer goes to 150 instead of 120 like the standard ones do.
Practice
They say practice makes perfect, Lando. Ever thought of trying practicing?
Marbles
You were in the lead! It’s an open cockpit! You take a bag of marbles, you drop them behind you, everyone spins out, the marbles roll off the track, and voila: Victoire pour Lando.
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These are just five suggestions, so Lando, if you’d like more, let us know and we’ll give you more. Good luck, man. Bummer about the rain.
