As I told you last week, Big Red is dominating some poorly-constructed Twitter bracket of mascots run by an organization that will receive no credit on this website. The championship’s going on right now if you want to vote—Big Red’s got a close lead over this guy. You can find the poll here.
For part of the campaign, Big Red recently pointed out its importance in the history of the sporting world. Back when ducks were ducks and ESPN was the highlight of summer days, Big Red played a key role in what was then the worldwide leader, serving as their archivist:
As you can tell, though, ESPN didn’t fully appreciate Big Red. Of course, he was a wonderful archivist, but really? You’re limiting a creature of that talent to a dark room of shelves?
Meanwhile, Big Red became the target of workplace discrimination:
Terrible.
But Big Red soldiered on. Judging by this clip (I didn’t figure out how to embed it, so you have to click the link if you want this particular Big Red content), Big Red not only still worked at the network seven years ago, but had a terrible relationship with Kevin Negandhi at the time (presumably Negandhi’s fault—Big Red’s a delight). More than fifteen years after being told to piss in the woods because he didn’t fit within his bosses’ gender paradigms, Big Red was still showing up to work, doing his job. Tragic. Heroic. Probably the reason ESPN hasn’t fallen even further in our collective consciousness.
Big Red is the greatest. What happens over the rest of the vote won’t change that. Big Red is the best, full stop. But the question exists: What caused that greatness? Was it within Big Red all along? Was it forged in the fires of the malevolence our hero withstood? Was it held back by the active obstruction of its career trajectory? Whatever the case, it’s good to see the mascot finally getting its due. Never respected in the eyes of its employer, the furry ol’ goomba-lookin’ thing has found validation in the eyes of the people—validation that is more than deserved.
Eat jiggles, ESPN.
