I had somewhere around eight or nine drinks last night, which shouldn’t be enough to leave me still drunk this morning but should be enough to leave me hungover, especially because I switched to tequila for one of the last ones. I’m not hungover, though. And I didn’t drink that much water. And I only had one piece of the frozen pizza. Plus, the frozen pizza was really early in the night.
It’s possible I’m still drunk.
Equally possible is that the reason I’m not hungover is that four of those eight or nine drinks were big ol’ solo cups of homemade eggnog, which means that in addition to the booze involved in those, I consumed four eggs, a cup and a half of whole milk, and two thirds of a cup of heavy whipping cream. That’s a full meal right there.
If you’re ever looking to get drunk enough to text your friends and family something vulgar and derogatory about the Chicago Bears (this is a medium level of drunk, to be clear), but you don’t want to be hungover, I think the best thing you can do is drink a full quart of eggnog across the evening. Do this at your own risk, etc. etc., Happy New Year, I need to walk my dog now.
