Mississippi plays Mississippi State tonight, and we’re as excited as you’d expect. No, neither of these teams is in serious NIT contention, but Chris Beard is an all-time college basketball Bad Guy, we only recently learned the Bowling Green Butt-Slapper™ grew up to be Chris Jans, and this is a rivalry which on the football field involves much urine-based pantomiming. A villain and a miscreant get on all fours to take a piss…
One question:
Do they still call it the Egg Bowl when it’s basketball?
Our research:
- The Egg Bowl’s Wikipedia page makes no mention of basketball.
- Neither team’s social media graphic advertising the game contains egg-adjacent imagery, let alone the phrase “Egg Bowl.”
- I googled “do they call it the Egg Bowl when it’s basketball” and The Internet slapped me in the face, told me no, and ordered me to get back to work.
That makes me think they don’t call it the Egg Bowl when it’s basketball.
What do they call it? Nothing, evidently. It’s just a rivalry game.
At this point, we could go into a long exploration of why college football is so flamboyant, from the Yell Leaders to marching bands to all the cutesy trophies. I thought football was supposed to be a sport for men! And I thought college football was supposed to be a sport racists could still watch even after turning on the NFL!! And I thought racists who turned on the NFL were the kind of guys who hate flamboyance!!! Quick! Harrison Butker! Save your sport, you tight-pants-wearing expensive-haired freak!
I jest. I love college football’s flamboyance. The sparkly helmets. The flutes. Maybe not the Yell Leaders but hey, we don’t all have to enjoy the same things. Overall? Let it out, fellas. Celine Dion ain’t just for the ladies. We gotta be ourselves out here.
Really, it’s college basketball that needs more theater kids. College basketball’s missing out on the pageantry. Mississippi vs. Mississippi State: A rivalry game? That’s it? The least we could do is come up with an old-timey name, or ban any music other than that of the pep bands. “Old Damn Hate.” How about that? Not great? Work with me, guys.