A bird pooped on my arm this morning. Just above the elbow. Fargo was sniffing something (bird poop, it turned out) in the grass under the electric line, and after a bird turd narrowly missed her leash a few days ago (warning shot, I now assume), one connected with my arm. It was early in the walk, too.
I know, I know, this is possibly good luck. Really hoping that’s true, and in case it is true, I licked it up. (Just kidding, I wiped it off with a series of leaves plucked off neighboring trees, then grabbed wet weeds and grass to wipe off my hands, and I just realized the reason those were wet was probably dog urine, and I also just realized I touched my face later on the walk, and am I going to die now? Maybe I should’ve just licked it up.)
Later in the morning, I was walking down the same street (no Fargo this time—she was at home, I couldn’t match her vibe), and the bird poop was still falling. From power line after power line, shit descended upon the sidewalks of Austin. It was like those large raindrops on the vanguard of a violent storm. An impressive quantity of bird poo. A terrifying quantity of bird poo.
I’ve never noticed this before. It’s possible I just haven’t looked up, but at the same time—I’m someone who notices poop. Especially when I’ve got the Fargs with me, since the Fargs likes to eat poop sometimes (don’t worry, I stop her—I don’t do something like point it out to her as an option or put a bib on her and tell her to go to town). I feel like I would have noticed this? Which is making me wonder if I took these walks at an unusual pair of times this morning, and if those times coincide with when birds wake up, and if birds, like many humans and my parents’ cat Friedman, take dumps when they wake up. Are birds morning pooers?
If any ornithologists (or better yet, birds) read this, please let me know.
