For shame! It’s been three weeks since we entered the inferno. It’s been burning, though. Boy oh boy, has it been burning.
Linus and Stü-cy
Linus Ullmark had a partial no-trade list, and my impression is that these generally include the Ottawa Senators. Why? Well, the Sens are kind of bad, you guys, and although I’ve never been to Ottawa (or Kanata!), my impression is that it has a lot of haters. Hockey players would rather live in Nashville, a fun city with a mild climate surrounded by fertile, affordable land upon which to build one’s country estate. And these bros have the pride themselves on toughness. The gall!
Was Ottawa on Linus Ullmark’s no-trade list? No. Linus Ullmark is a great goaltender. As such, Linus Ullmark must be fucking insane.
I want to be careful in reacting to the trade. Once upon a time, we all really thought Pierre Dorion, fueled by what I imagine was an exclusive diet of Gabriel’s Pizza, had outfoxed Chicago in acquiring Alex DeBrincat. Was that a good trade? It doesn’t age terribly—part of DeBrincat turned into one of the picks used in this deal—but we celebrated and then things sucked even worse than they’d sucked before. Steve Staios is not Pierre Dorion (God bless Pierre Dorion; no one can imitate that man besides hundreds of thousands of divorced North American fathers), but he’s still the Sens’ GM. Ullmark will still play behind only half a defense. This might not work out. It might be a good deal and still not work out.
That all said…this is exciting. The Sens have a good goalie if they can keep him good. They pawned off most of Joonas Korpisalo’s salary. They didn’t have to give up Jakob Chychrun. Ullmark seems to want to be in Ottawa. Who wouldn’t want to play with Tim Stützle?
Who Will Coach Burnley?
Henrik Jensen.
In an assistant role.
Burnley still hasn’t hired a head coach or a manager or whatever they decide to call it (I understand those things are different, please don’t extradite me). Craig Bellamy’s still in the mix, which I would imagine makes Craig Bellamy feel kind of bad about himself? A real “backup homecoming date” situation.
The other name most prominently in the mix (besides that Dutch guy who wants to be an assistant at Manchester United instead) is Scott Parker, who got Fulham promoted in 2020, Fulham relegated in 2021, and Bournemouth promoted in 2022. At both Fulham and Bournemouth he made public comments disagreeing with the club’s personnel moves then immediately moved on, mutually separating with Fulham and getting fired by Bournemouth. From Bournemouth, he went to Belgium to coach Club Brugge for a few months, but it did not work out.
I guess one way this might be going is that Burnley is trying to land a guy they like, and if they find that guy, they’ll give him power and move on as normal. If they don’t? It’s Bellamy, but in some role less than being a full-on manager. I don’t know who handles personnel moves in the Bellamy scenario. Do they hire a general manager? Will Theo Epstein save Burnley??
The NHL Draft!
It’s Friday, everybody. Also Saturday. At the Sphere! Do you think Gary Bettman accidentally arrived early and thought he was John Mayer? Do you think Gary Bettman knows who the Grateful Dead are? He either loves them or doesn’t know, right? No in between?
Sam Dickinson has said he likes the Sens, and in keeping with our theme, it’s nice to be wanted. All five mock drafts I examined just now had him landing with Ottawa if he didn’t go earlier. Most had him going earlier, though, and in that case Zayne Parekh seems to be the favorite. Parekh’s a right-handed shooter, which is nice because the Sens only have one of those who’s any good, as opposed to three lefties who are any good. Dickinson’s a lefty. Both are 18 years old, both played in the OHL this year, I think they’re both a year away from being NHL-ready but I know so very little about hockey, my friends.
Another defenseman getting named is Zeev Buium, who is also 18 but has gone the college route, currently playing at Denver. He’s a lefty.
If the Sens go with a forward, the rumor mill says Beckett Sennecke is the one to watch. He’s an OHL guy, and yet again is 18 years old. (This is the moment NIT Stu remembered everyone good gets drafted when they’re 18 or about to turn 18.) Tij Iginla out of the WHL gets some mentions, too. I think the word on him is that he is Jarome Iginla’s son and he is extraordinarily skilled. I’m not positive what the concern is, but it seems to revolve around not being a “complete” player? That’s the impression that I get.
Could they trade the pick? Yes. Could also trade Erik Brännström, Mathieu Joseph, Jakob Chychrun, Egor Sokolov…mostly Brännström because the qualifying offer deadline is Monday. It doesn’t sound like they’re going to trade Thomas Chabot, which seems kind of dumb to me because of age and cost, but I trust Staios and I think I’m an idiot, and I don’t know if those two things are connected or not yet. The Sens are in this weird pseudo win–now mode where they aren’t actively rebuilding but they’re close to the salary cap so they have to do hard things.
Burnley Goes Euro
Euros roundup:
- Zeki Amdouni’s been playing as a sub for Switzerland. He’s entered all three games.
- Jacob Bruun Larsen hasn’t gotten in for Denmark.
I think the only other international stuff going on is the COSAFA Cup. I don’t know if Lyle Foster and/or Manuel Benson is playing in that. ESPN didn’t know either. And believe me, I asked.
Sens Here, Sens There
I promised I’d be locked in on the Sens this offseason. Watch this (I’m going to list every little move the Sens have made since we last published one of these):
- The Panthers’ fourth-round pick from the Tarasenko trade is actually going to be a 2026 third-rounder. (Not a move the Sens made. Shit. This is going badly so far.)
- Angus Crookshank: Re-signed. Two-way deal.
- Cole Reinhart: Re-signed. Two-way deal.
- David Bell: Extended. Bell-eville lives.
- Max Guennette: Re-signed. Two-way deal.
- Nikolas Matinpalo: Re-signed. Two-way deal.
- Jamieson Rees: Re-signed. Two-way deal.
- Wyatt Bongiovanni: Re-signed. Two-way deal.
- Matthew Highmore: Re-signed. Two-way deal.
Basically, the Belleville Sens are loading up. Calder Cup incoming.
Mark Your Bloody Calendar
The Championship schedule is out for this season. Highlights:
- Burnley opens against Luton on Monday, August 12th down at Luton.
- Burnley closes on Saturday, May 3rd (hopefully; hopefully they win the league and don’t end up in the promotion playoff) back at Turf Moor against Millwall.
- The Blackburn matches are Saturday, August 31st at Blackburn and Saturday, January 4th at home.
Compared to the last time Burnley was in the Championship, 17 of the 23 other teams are the same. Birmingham City, Blackpool, Huddersfield Town, Reading, Rotherham United, and Wigan Athletic have moved down and out; Derby County, Oxford United, Plymouth Argyle, Portsmouth, and Sheffield Wednesday have moved up and in, and Leeds dropped in. There’s been other movement, of course (Ipswich rolled straight through), but that’s the balance of it all.
**
Burn on, disco fanatics. We will see you, God willing, next week.
(Why does it feel so weird to not capitalize disco?)
