There was big news in Britain these last two weeks, and a big soccer coaching change, and a lot of stuff that happened in North America as well. And we aren’t talking about Keir Starmer or Gregg Berhalter or George Clooney.
Really.
We won’t mention any of those guys a single nother time.
Is Scott Parker Good at Coaching?
Scott Parker has this great thing about him where I’m never confident that’s really his name. I’ve yet to get it wrong, but every time I type it I go back and say, “I should really double check that that’s it.” Not Scott Peters, right? Not Craig Parker? Not Scott Parkers, with an s?
It’s Scott Parker, and I hope I will soon get used to it.
The last time we talked about Scott Parker, our impression (taken mostly from Wikipedia) was that he was good at getting teams promoted and frustrated when promoted teams didn’t spend big to stay up. Whether he was really frustrated or just saw this as a convenient narrative was unclear. Either way, we liked it.
Since that mention, Parker’s name of course really heated up, and we of course texted our friend Ryan, who is honest to God a massive Fulham fan. I don’t know that there’s much in the world our guy Ryan loves more than Fulham. Ryan fuckin’ loves Fulham. Even Ryan’s dad likes Fulham now. Big sports guy, Ryan’s dad. Played college baseball, if I’m not confusing generations. Anyway, Ryan knows a lot more about soccer than I do. Which isn’t hard (I’m very sorry if you read Disco Inferno for your Burnley analysis), but makes him helpful.
The conversation, lightly edited for clarity:
Stu: Ryan I am sorry to interrupt your honeymoon, but should I be excited about Burnley probably hiring Scott Parker?
Ryan: Omg
Ryan: Is that actually happening
Ryan: I would say hope to god he only gets you promoted and then leaves
Ryan: You’re back to Dyche-ian football with him, but somehow even more negative (unless during his time off he’s changed his ways)
Stu: Wait so even more 0–0 games??
Ryan: You’re gonna have so many of those if my experience with him is instructive
Ryan: So many
Just when I thought I couldn’t like him more, folks.
I love Scott Parker.
(I think the honeymoon was good. Ryan got to do some cool soccer fan things. I was happy for him.)
What Have the Sens Been Up To?
Holy shit the Sens have done so much. We really should have Disco Infernoed last week. It was NHL free agency and the draft, all in one window. We let you down, Sens and Burnley fans.
The short version is (*Kelly Kapoor voice*) the Sens traded Jakob Chychrun for Nick Jensen and a draft pick. Cuz like, they had too many left-handed defensemen? Which is weird, because you do play three lines of defense and they only had three, but I guess they only had one right-handed defensemen—Zub, love him—and maybe Chychrun cost too much money to keep him. Which really seems like something the Sens should have thought of when they traded for him but I guess Pierre Dorion traded for him, and now Steve Staios is in charge, so anyway I’ve got a bad feeling about it and kind of wanted Chabot to be the one they moved but Steve’s gonna Steve, and like he totally knows more than me anyway, so hopefully Nick Jensen rocks. Then, the Sens signed a bunch of other guys. Michael Amadio. Noah Gregor. David Perron, who tried to kill Zub once. Oh also they didn’t give Erik Brännström a qualifying offer so he ended up with the Avalanche. Again I don’t really think the reason these good prospects and young players are having bad results in Ottawa is that they’re bad, but Steve’s gonna Steve, and he definitely knows more about these guys than I do, and he didn’t pick these guys and the team does like totally stink. So then Shane Pinto requested a trade, but it turned out he didn’t request a trade? Wild. And then the Sens dumped Mathieu Joseph’s salary on the Blues, which again was kind of weird because like Mathieu Joseph wasn’t that bad or anything. That was the first day. On the second day they signed Shane Pinto, which felt good. I don’t know what the trade request rumor was about. (*back to Stu voice*)
They did other things too. And we were locked in on them, from Egor Sokolov going to Utah to Adam Gaudette locking down early Les Cunningham Award favorite status, at least in my head. But those were the big ones.
So What Happens to Craig Bellamy?
He’s gonna coach Wales. Kind of pumped for him, honestly. National team coaching sounds great. You don’t have to work that much and the worst case scenario is that every soccer fan in your country hates you forever.
There Was a Draft, Right?
Yes. Whole big thing. The Sphere was involved.
The Sens’ first pick was none of the guys The Internet™ told me they were considering, but Carter Yakemchuk (that’s who he picked, we aren’t changing the subject) grew up one neighborhood over from Jake Sanderson in Calgary, and the pair’s moms are friends. In other words? The potential broadcast segments about the pair were too good to pass up. We get it.
**
Nothing else tonight. Go enjoy what’s left of your Wednesday, Burnley and also Ottawa Senators Nation. We will be back when we’re back. And speaking of back…
God bless the official Burnley website. (New jerseys are good by me. Very funny to type in the sponsor’s name and be told by the sponsor that they don’t offer service in my country.)
