Crimes I Have Not Committed

Well, let’s see. Using Wikipedia’s “crime” page, here’s a list of crimes I have not committed. Please note that THIS IS NOT EXHAUSTIVE.

  • Assassination
  • False imprisonment
  • Mayhem
  • Homicide
  • Negligent homicide
  • Bigamy
  • Forgery
  • Pickpocketing
  • Embezzlement
  • Extortion
  • Dueling
  • Wildlife smuggling
  • Payola

Again, not exhaustive. But these crimes? I have not committed them.

NIT fan. Joe Kelly expert. Milk drinker. Can be found on Twitter (@nit_stu) and Instagram (@nitstu32).
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13 thoughts on “Crimes I Have Not Committed

          1. yah but like, isn’t the point of a list…just to organize your thoughts around what you need to cross off the list…? i thought this was a cry for help. assistance needed. you know, ” here, at last, is a list of things i know i wanna do but i need someone to help.”

                  1. if you’re worried about crossing more than one item off this list, i can assure you: dueling will be the only one. if you catch my drift.

                    (you won’t win the duel)

                    1. i think i understand. you don’t want to plan a duel. but you would engage if a duel was thrust upon you in the heat of the moment.

                      be ready.

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